© By Donna C. Smith
I love the way you make me laughI love the way you make me cry
Tears of joy stream from my eyes
As I hear your voice, a loving surprise.
I love you when you're angry
I love you when you're sad
I love you when you're glad
When you tell me of the day you had
I love you trulyI love you deeply
Ever since the dayI let you meet me
I missed you when you left
I miss you now more than ever
Making a mistake that I regret
Hoping that you are a forgiver
Without you, my life is strife
But now I ask for a second chance
Be with me and start a life
Together forever, an eternal dance
I wait for you as the days go by
My love is growing inch by inch
I cannot wait to see you again
But I wait for you, and your warm kiss
I love you
April 19, 2008
Love Poem
Love
© By Valerie E. Johnson
I thought you felt the same way.
When we held each other I prayed you would stay.
I loved the way you looked at me.
I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
I thought you loved me undesirably.
Didn't you know you were my everything.
You were all I thought about.
In my mind there was no doubt.
Now I see your not in love.
It wasn't something from above.
You're with her now and you're happy.
I'm the one who's mopey and sappy.
That's ok though because if I had to pick the one to suffer
I'm glad it was me. I love you more than ever.
My love for you will never go away.
But to tell you that I would never say.
It's so hard to let you go.
But it's now time to move on slow.
So this is my goodbye.
My darling, my love, my only one.
floreThis is the last time I will cry.
http://www.poetryamerica.com
© By Valerie E. Johnson
I thought you felt the same way.
When we held each other I prayed you would stay.
I loved the way you looked at me.
I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
I thought you loved me undesirably.
Didn't you know you were my everything.
You were all I thought about.
In my mind there was no doubt.
Now I see your not in love.
It wasn't something from above.
You're with her now and you're happy.
I'm the one who's mopey and sappy.
That's ok though because if I had to pick the one to suffer
I'm glad it was me. I love you more than ever.
My love for you will never go away.
But to tell you that I would never say.
It's so hard to let you go.
But it's now time to move on slow.
So this is my goodbye.
My darling, my love, my only one.
floreThis is the last time I will cry.
http://www.poetryamerica.com
News From Author
Hi there readers!
Just to let you know that my blog before this ones name was Passions And Love. You will be able to find more articles on that site too.
Regards,
Angelique
http://www.passionsandlove.blogspot.com/
Just to let you know that my blog before this ones name was Passions And Love. You will be able to find more articles on that site too.
Regards,
Angelique
http://www.passionsandlove.blogspot.com/
GoodLuck Spell
You need:
A candle to represent you (any color)
A gray candle
A black candle
An orange candle
It's best to perform this one while the moon is waxing. Light the candle that represents yourself and say: “This is me, me in all things” Light the black candle and say: 'This is all the bad luck that has dragged my footsteps. Trouble, disappointments and tears are here. This bad luck now leaves me forever'. Light the gray candle and say: 'All that was bad is neutralized. All my bad luck is dissolved'. Light the orange candle and say: 'This is the energy coming my way, to get my life moving and speed up the change'.Sit quietly for a while and visualize the negative energies being whisked into the gray candle and dissolved into empty nothingness. Visualize the orange candle drawing good energy and good luck towards you, see the air stirring about with possibilities and opportunities.Let the candles burn down completely (take the usual safety precautions)
A candle to represent you (any color)
A gray candle
A black candle
An orange candle
It's best to perform this one while the moon is waxing. Light the candle that represents yourself and say: “This is me, me in all things” Light the black candle and say: 'This is all the bad luck that has dragged my footsteps. Trouble, disappointments and tears are here. This bad luck now leaves me forever'. Light the gray candle and say: 'All that was bad is neutralized. All my bad luck is dissolved'. Light the orange candle and say: 'This is the energy coming my way, to get my life moving and speed up the change'.Sit quietly for a while and visualize the negative energies being whisked into the gray candle and dissolved into empty nothingness. Visualize the orange candle drawing good energy and good luck towards you, see the air stirring about with possibilities and opportunities.Let the candles burn down completely (take the usual safety precautions)
How To Make A Candle
This information is only for use with metal and aluminum candle molds!
Tip: A properly prepared mold and temperature control are the two most important factors in making a successful candle!Preparing Your Work AreaBefore making a candle it is helpful to set up a work area first.
Tip: A tackle box like those found in sporting goods stores will work very well for holding just about all your tools and equipment.A small sheet of plastic (trash bag?) to work over may prevent dyes from joining the table cloth and make clean up easier. Use this area to work with dyes and/or break up small pieces of wax.Putting all your small tools in a large cup can be helpful. This includes thermometer, wicking needles, washers and nails, wicker bars, measuring spoons and wick hole plugging material. Keep something nearby to grab hot molds with if needed (tongs work great for this).Set up an area where you can pour your wax. Plan ahead for that disaster to occur. Pouring over a cake pan can make clean up easier if leaks or spillage happens.
Paper towels are also very, very handy to have close by. Use these to clean the thermometer, melt pots and spills. Set aside any water bath containers you may plan to use.Fill your Steamer Pot to about 2/3 full with water and set your Melting Pot inside. Turn stove to medium high heat then add wax to melting pot.Handling WaxIf you need to break wax from a slab, fold a piece of plastic wrap into a large square and place over clean wax. Hit covered area with hammer until wax breaks loose. If you need smaller pieces you may cut wax by using a thick bladed knife, point down, to make holes until wax breaks, but, this can be a dangerous way to do it so when possible the hammer method should be used.It is very important to keep your wax clean! Dust, lint, cleaners, chemicals and most anything else can later cause problems with candles and/or their ability to release from a mold.We recommend weighing your wax before melting so that you waste less and develop consistent recipes. Remember you will always need a little more than expected to fill in the dent which will form during the cooling process. Place the proper amount of wax into your melting pot, as mentioned above. If you haven't already, prepare your mold while wax is melting.Preparing The Mold1) Make sure mold is clean. Use a liquid mold cleaner after a candle that did not release from the mold well or after about every 5 - 7 candles poured.2) Use a mold release spray. This also should only be necessary after about 4 - 7 candles have been made, per mold. However, there are times (usually due to outside temperatures and humidity) when every candle made, seems to stick. During those troubling times, we use the release spray on every mold before pouring every candle.3) In addition to these things we recommend adding 1/2 teaspoon of mold release powder, per candle, to your melting wax. By using all three of these products and methods each candle made should easily release from mold when properly cool.Wicking the Mold - We recommend using a waxed wick. If using an unwaxed wick simply dip it into your clear, clean melted wax for a minute and allow to cool. To wick the mold first tie something small and metal, such as a nail, to the bottom of your wick. Then slide a thin metal washer onto the wick so it is above the nail. Next, using a large sewing needle if necessary, place the end of your wick into the eye of the needle and push/pull the wick through your 'hole plugging material'. An old mouse pad, cut into 1" squares, will work well for this. Pass needle and wick through center of mouse pad square, remove needle and pull pad down on top of washer.
That’s it! Now thread the wick through the wick hole in your mold and tie or secure it to your wicker bar, pulling the mouse pad tight against the mold to seal the wick hole. Set mold aside until wax reaches the correct pouring temperature of 190 degrees F.Preparing The WaxTo prepare your wax first add any additives needed. This should be 1/2 teaspoon of mold release powder per candle. You may also wish to add 1/2 teaspoon per candle of Vybar or Poly wax hardeners to help with color loss and surface defects if needed. Next add your dye. Be sure when adding items to drop them slowly into the wax to prevent getting splashed with hot wax! Place your thermometer into the wax/melting pot and allow temperature to come up to 190 degrees F for a few minutes. Remove thermometer before pouring so it does not fall out of melting pot.Pouring The WaxOnce a temperature of 190 degrees F is reached your wax is ready to pour.
Add any desired scent just before pouring as scent will evaporate if allowed to 'cook' for very long.Make sure mold is heated first! A hair dryer works well for this or you may be able to use the steam rising around the melting pot by laying mold along the side of your melting pot, on top of steamer pot. Usually mold does not need to be real hot, just heated up a little first.Next, with tongs or 'pot warmer' hold warm mold firmly and begin pouring wax. Pour slowly and evenly to prevent splashing and to allow temperature of mold to adjust evenly. When mold is full of wax let stand until cool. You may also place it in a water bath as soon as mold is full or move mold to chosen location. If it drips badly, the candle will probably fail, but if there is a little dripping it will probably not harm the candle, especially if placed into a water bath.As candle cools...the 'dent' will occur and need to be filled in as the candle cools.Fixing 'The Dent'It is normal for a 'dent' to form in the wax as it shrinks and cools. This cannot be prevented. Here are some tips for dealing with, the dent. Before filling the dent use a wooden skewer and poke it into the wax/mold to open up any air pockets that might have formed. Do this firmly but not hard enough to reach the bottom of the mold (or top of the candle).Trim wick with razor blade to below edge of mold before filling the dent. Then fill dent with warm wax and allow to cool. Note: If wax used to fill the dent is too hot it may damage surface of finished candle. A dent may form, and have to be refilled, two or three times before the candle is finished.Scent may be placed into the dent, in a small amount, before filling dent with wax if desired.Cooling The CandleIf you have time you may get a better success rate if you find just the right place and allow the candle to air cool at its own pace, at room temperature. Simply keep the mold away from air flows and fill in the dent as needed until candle is completely cool. However, if you need to cool the candle quicker, usually about 4 hours, or if you are having trouble with surface flaws, try cooling the candle in a water bath.Removing Candle From MoldFirst, cut wick where needed to remove nail, washer and pad from bottom of mold. You may have to carefully slide a knife blade under the pad to loosen from mold surface. Once loose remove all items and shake mold slightly to see if candle will slide from mold.If not, use dull side of a (dull) knife and gently even the bottom of the candle out a little. Sometimes this alone is all that is needed to free the candle from its mold.If not, tap mold bottom (open end) gently on a hard flat surface but do not tap hard enough to dent the mold or it may be ruined! If this doesn't work try tapping around the outside of the mold gently with the handle of a table knife. If candle is still stuck place candle/mold in fridge for 10 minutes then try again to remove candle with a light tap to side or on hard flat surface.If this still didn't work then most likely the candle can not be saved but, you can try applying a little heat from a hair dryer to the outside of the mold. However most times, using heat will destroy the candle.We find the best way to get a really bad one unstuck is to cut or notch the open end (bottom of candle) and use something like a screw driver to try to turn the candle in the mold. When this doesn't work it is often impossible to save the candle. But remember...there will be failures! And through those failures you will find methods that work for you, and improve your candle making skills!If candle will absolutely not come out place mold (with stuck candle inside) back into your melting pot and heat until wax is melted out of the mold. Reclean and prepare the mold using all the steps mentioned above.Finishing Your CandleTo level the base of the candle place a heat proof plate on top a pot of boiling water. When hot rotate your candle on the hot surface until level. You can check this by placing candle on wax paper and turning slowly. If one side is too high try to hold just that area on the plate a moment then turn entire candle a few times and check again. With practice this is a not too difficult way to nicely level the bottom of any candle.Trim wick to about 1/4" long before burning.At this point you may also coat the candle with either a spray or liquid gloss finish to give it a nice, professional look.
Ask Angelique
Q: How do I cheat and do it right?
A: Delete any numbers that has phones you. Delete any numbers you have dialed. Don’t save the numbers on your phone. Delete any sms’s you have sent or gotten. Put on ringer ID’s on the numbers if you have saved them. Delete any emails you have sent or gotten. Don’t leave your phone laying around for prying eyes.
A: Delete any numbers that has phones you. Delete any numbers you have dialed. Don’t save the numbers on your phone. Delete any sms’s you have sent or gotten. Put on ringer ID’s on the numbers if you have saved them. Delete any emails you have sent or gotten. Don’t leave your phone laying around for prying eyes.
Don’t keep any gifts you’ve gotten around your partner. Don’t keep voicemail on your phone. Don’t let your mistress know where you stay – take her to a hotel.
Remember your lies and keep it simple you don’t want to have a web of lies and not know what you lied to who and when. Don’t tell anybody your dirty little secret especially your friends – things have a way of coming out. Use a different unknown number to contact your mistress. Don’t take your mistress to the usual places you go or where people might recognize you. Always wear a condom or make sure your mistress is on contraception – if your mistress gets pregnant your games over! Never mention your partner or mistress’ name in front of the other. Never get attached to your mistress.
Q: My partner fantasizes about other women. What do I do now?
A: Well there is not much that you can do. Men fantasize about other women all the time and there is nothing odd about it. You might be stressing for nothing. He is still with you ain’t he? So you must be doing something right.
Q: I want to get engaged, my man doesn’t. What is a girl to do?
A: This is quite simple. Don’t pressure him or you will push him away. He will do it when the time is right – let him be. You aren’t missing much.
Q: How do I get rid of an ex?
A: Exes can be very stubborn – to the point where we want to hire hitmen or sell them to an place with an obsessive amount of poverty. Try these tips before you do anything drastic, if it doesn’t work you can revert to desperate measures. Your ex: Don’t reply on your exes sms’. Don’t phone your ex. If you see him/her wave to say hello and walk past. Don’t chitchat – it’s an ex not your friend. Erase their number from your phone if you don’t have the nr you cant call. If they should phone and bug you don’t answer. If they rock up at your home call the police you have a stalker believe me! If the police won’t help adopt a blood seeking rotweiler or two. Throw anything you have of your ex away. Play on their sensitive subjects even if it’ll make them hate you – better hate than stalking. If you are cornered and have to talk to them keep it blunt and to the point. Even if you love them don’t let them know they’ll get hope from it. Don’t meet your exes even though they want to meet up with you for “closure” – it’s just opening a new can of worms. Change your phone number. His/her ex: Phone his/he ex that’s bugging you two and tell the ex you and your partner have moved on. Let his ex know that he/she’s an ex for a reason. Tell your partner if it’s bugging you and what you would like e.g. Him not contacting her/him anymore.
Q: I want to get engaged to feel that I belong.
A: That is kind of a strange reason to want to get engaged. I’m sure you love this person but things happen when they are supposed to. Be patient – it might be worth the wait you know.
Q: How does one handle a breakup?
A: A break-up was never easy and it’s never going to be but here are a few tips to make it more bearable. Go to friends for comfort you need to get your mind off of your turn of events. Go sing karaoke at the nearest place. Try to meet new people – your judge of character might be a little bit low now so take a trustworthy person with. Delete any sms’, get rid of any letters, gifts, photo’s etc (Throw away or pack it into a box and put it away for now) – the last thing you need is reminders. Don’t beg to get him back, getting rejected every time will only make you break even more – if he wants you back he will ask you back (he has your phone number).If he has a new partner don’t bug him and mess up their relationship – this girl did you no harm she wants to be happy just like you. If you can’t help contacting him write the number down, delete it from your phone and give it to your friend in an envelope for safe keeping until you can resist calling/smsing him. Don’t bad-mouth him it doesn’t mean because he left you that you can slander his name it’ll come back to haunt you. Cry your heart out, cry, cry and cry – you need to get that emotion out of your system, it’s for the best. You have a fear of being lonely or alone? You are made to be in a partnership? A dog is mans best friend, get a puppy or cat maybe even a teddy bear, put your energy into something else. So your boyfriend is gone, find something else to fill that void or space. Keep busy! You probably have internet so read, read and read some more. Go to a party – you might not feel up to it but it’ll do you good.
Q: My partner wants to do anal and I don’t.
A: Umm, I know that you want to experiment with this or enjoy it but people have choice and don’t you think that there are other ways of doing it? You can’t force someone to have sex with you via your bum. It might even be for your own good because this person could be inexperienced and not use enough lube and hurt the inside. If this person does not want to do it then let them be you aren’t missing much.
Q: I had an abortion quite some time ago – is it too late to tell my partner now?
A: It is never too late to tell the truth.
Q: I’m not a virgin. I feel like I have nothing to give my partner. What am I to do?
A: Bring a virgin can be mentally too. It doesn’t mean that because you lost it physically you can’t give it mentally to your partner. Explain that to your partner.
Q: My girlfriend is getting fat and I hate fat people. Its either she loses weight or I dump her. What should I do?
A: Tell her how you feel. She will either understand and ask you to help her lose weight or you will get a bitch-slap maybe even killed – joke. If she agrees to lose weight then support her and help get some info and programs. Might I add that it is very superficial of you to dump her because of a few pounds?
Q: My girlfriend is getting fat and I am worried about her health. What should I do?
A: Tell her how you feel. She will either understand and ask you to help her lose weight or you will get a bitch-slap maybe even killed – joke. If she agrees to lose weight then support her and help get some info and programs.
Q: My girlfriend fantasizes about other men. What do I do now?
A: Well there is not much that you can do. You might be stressing for nothing. She is still with you ain’t she? So you must be doing something right. Just keep a close eye on the situation.
Q: I want to engaged, my woman doesn’t. What is a guy to do?
A: This is quite simple. Don’t pressure her or you will push her away. She will let you know when the time is right – let her be. It will be something great and one of the best days in your life. Be patient.
Q: I want to move n with my partner badly, what do I do?
A: Let a hint slip now and then or ask him to his face. The worse he could do is say no. If he isn’t ready then you have to respect that.
Q: Does my partner need to know of my past because it will hurt him if he hears it.
A: No your partner doesn’t need to know of your past. If you don’t talk about it he can’t ask you about it. And only tell him what he needs to know. The basic facts.
Q: I have to tell my partner how I’m feeling otherwise I’m bottling it up but it hurts him – what do I do?
A: You don’t have to bottle it up and it only feels that you’re bottling it up because you are thinking it. The mind is a powerful thing. Tell him in a nice way. You don’t have to blurt everything out you know you can sugar-coat your words.
Q: My partner wants me to move in with him but I’m too scared to take the chance. What do I do?
A: Life is about taking chances. What’s the worse that can happen?
Q: I’m scared of losing my partner. I’m going out of my mind with worries. Please tell me what I should do.
A: Oh my gosh, ouch, this is something most of us worry about. There is no use is worrying. He/she is gonna leave if he/she wants to and there is nothing you can do to stop the person but you can show him/her what he/she would be losing if he/she left. Just enjoy the time you have with your partner. Put on a brave face.
Q: I’m starting to doubt whether I can make my partner happy. Am I a good or a bad partner and what am I to do?
A: Judging by the fact that you are here and trying to find out what to do tells me that you are putting or trying to put effort in this relationship. Nothing and nobody is perfect, hun. Only you can judge by your standard whether you are a good or bad partner. It is for your partner to decide whether you can make him/her happy. Maybe it’s not even you that’s making him/her unhappy. He/she could be under a lot of stress at work
Q: My partner wants me to have sex with him while I have my periods. It grosses me out. Help?!
A: Periods is part of nature and sex is part of nature – so why not do both? If you really don’t want to then tell him but you should maybe at least try considering it. Get a red towel to place under you.
Q: I want my girlfriend to moan while I satisfy her but she doesn’t. Help, what do I do?
A: Most gals are too shy – let her know how you feel and that it is sexy to you. Also consider that maybe she isn’t getting the feeling she should. There could be something medically wrong.
Q: My partner died a year ago and I have met a new person. Am I ready to move on?
A: Let me begin by saying I’m sorry about your loss and that it must’ve been very difficult for you and I sympathize. Only you can decide whether you are ready if not. You will be able to feel it in your heart – when you are ready, you will be able to feel ready.
Q: My ex lost our baby and I cannot get over it. What can I do?
A: The only thing I can suggest is talk to your ex partner about going for counseling together. This will rip your apart if you do not go for help. Make an appointment ASAP.
Q: Can you maybe give me some tips on Internet Dating?
A: Cyber dating could turn into a real relationship just don’t put all your hope on it. Here are some tips. Don’t feel bad to cross-question the person you are speaking to. If you know somebody, a friend or a family member in the police ask them to check this person out. Write down all details this person gives you to check if it changes when asked at a later stage. Be careful of sending photos that could be doctored. Be extra careful of sending naked photos it can become incriminating. Try to get as much information as possible to get to know this person as best you can. If you meet, please meet in a public place. You don’t know this person.
Q: How do I tell my partner I’m pregnant?
A: Okay, so now you are pregnant and you know this for a fact – how on earth do you tell him? Here are some facts and tips. He does have a right to know but it is your choice whether you tell him or not. Even if you want to get an abortion its only right that he should know that you are going to have one. Arrange a romantic dinner and tell him then. Write him a letter (but he will respect it more face to face). Start by saying you love him and you respect his opinions…blah blah….
Q: If you could give your dating advice in one paragraph, what would it be?
A: I would begin by saying, if you are single and ready to mingle then apply a few significant dating tips. These dating tips will be helpful in getting your soul mate. Being a single is quite tough, as there are several things to share. Although, there are no such magic formulas for trapping your Mr. Right or Miss Right, still you can apply a few dating tips. People have several misconceptions about dating. Dating is simply meeting and socializing with a person who may or may not bring shine in life. Significant Ideas for Dating Tips - You must do a little preparation before going for a date. Your appearance or preparation must be in accordance with the person with whom you are going for date. In order to make your date a complete success, you must work hard. Your feelings play key role in a successful date. This is a great dating tip. One of the major dating tips in looking out for the love of your life is your appearance. Although, appearance is considered deceptive, still it plays key role while dating. In order to enhance your appearance, you must go for a gym, read health magazines and have healthy diet. People often neglect their hairstyles, but they are significant to your appearance. A good grooming or beauty treatment would be helpful in making your date a success. Love and emotions are the key factors while going for dating. But, there is another very significant factor. Your clothes have major part in your appearance. It would be advisable to wear only comfortable clothes. Do not get overboard. Before going for the date, you must consider a few things. For instance, if you are ready for commitment or just going out for a simple enjoyment. These few factors must be considered. On the other hand, if you are getting involved with feelings and looking for a long-term relationship then set your mind accordingly. Before going on date, try to get rid from all the negative thoughts and go for positive social gatherings. This would lead to the enhancement of self-belief and nerve.
Q: I’m pregnant and I want an abortion but my partner doesn’t believe in abortion.
A: Well I guess he didn’t believe in condoms or contraceptive either. You should’ve thought of these things way earlier but hey people learn from their mistakes. Ask him to get more information with you from clinic. Get brochures and talk about it. If her doesn’t budge then so be it. He will have to provide for that child. Having a baby might not be so bad. At least you have a man who cares about you and wants a family – most people don’t have that luxury.
Q: I cheated on my partner – how do I tell him?
A: Tell him with all sincerity and let him know that you regret it. Ask him for forgiveness.
Q: My partner hits me, what do I do?
A: You can’t change a man that hits women. Go to your nearest family member and tell them. Go to the police and make a case ASAP please. This is your life we are talking about.
Q: My partner doesn’t look me in the eyes when having sex.
A: Talk to your partner about this. Your partner might not even be noticing that he/she is doing this. Take into consideration that your partner might just be living the moment.
Q: My partners getting distant – what do I do?
A: There’s not much you can do. Ask your partner why he/she is getting distant and be prepared to hear bad news. Try to resolve this issue your relationship deserves it.
Q: My girlfriend wants me to have sex with her while she has her periods. It grosses me out. Help?!
A: Periods is part of nature and sex is part of nature – so why not do both? If you really don’t want to then tell her but you should maybe at least try considering it. Get a red towel to place under her.
Q: My partner accuses me of cheating and so help me God, I’m not cheating! How do I get this bull out of his head?
A: He might just be very jealous and you have to help him with that. When he gets jealous over something then you just have to tell him that you love him and only him etc etc. You will have to reassure him to build his confidence in the relationship.
Q: Is it too soon to move on?
A: Nobody can tell you whether it is too soon to move on and you will feel it in your gut when you are ready to move on. Just keep in mind that it's gonna hurt your partner to see you move on within the first month.
Q: My partner won’t say he loves me and sometimes I feel it’s asking him too much. Am I wrong?
A: No, you are absolutely not wrong for asking. If he is just playing on your feelings in any way whatsoever then he is wrong. He can’t love you but let you worry just for the fun of it. You are not his toy, you are his partner.
Q: I’m scared of losing my partner. I’m going out of my mind with worries. Please tell me what I should do.
A: Oh my gosh, ouch, this is something most of us girls worry about. There is no use is worrying. He is gonna leave if he wants to and there is nothing you can do to stop him but you can show him what he would be losing if he left. Just enjoy the time you have with him. Put on a brave face.
Q: I’m starting to doubt whether I can make my partner happy. Am I a good or a bad girlfriend and what am I to do?
A: Judging by the fact that you are here and trying to find out what to do tells me that you are putting or trying to put effort in this relationship. Nothing and nobody is perfect, hun. Only you can judge by your standard whether you are a good or bad girlfriend. It is for your partner to decide whether you can make him happy. Maybe it’s not even you that’s making him unhappy. He could be under a lot of stress at work
Q: I lost our baby and my partner cannot get over it. What can we do?
A: The only thing I can suggest is talk to your partner about going for counseling together. This will rip your relationship apart if you do not go for help. Make an appointment ASAP.
Q: How can I tell whether my partner was pregnant before from another man but lost the baby? Can this be why they broke up?
A: Just ask your partner straight to her face. If she lies just wait – she will tell you the truth in her own time when she is ready. This could be the reason they broke up but this was before you so do not worry about nothing.
Q: My partner died a year ago and I have met a new person. Am I ready to move on?
A: Let me begin by saying I am sorry about your loss and that it must have been very difficult for you and I sympathize. Only you can decide whether you are ready if not. You will be able to feel it in your heart – when you are ready, you will be able to feel ready.
Q: I want to phone my partner – but I don’t have a job to pay for airtime.
A: Yes your partner would love to receive a phone call from you now and then but explain to your partner. He/she will understand. You will find a job soon and then you can spoil your partner.
Q: My partner got badly burned and disfigured in an accident. What do I do?
A: If this is true love then you’ll love the person for what’s inside not outside and it shouldn’t make a difference to you. He/she is still the same person inside. This is where you prove yourself worthy of love.
Q: My partner can’t get erect anymore. What now?
A: Go to your GP or a pharmacy and ask for your options (pills etc).
Q: I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me, is it the right thing to do?
A: If you love her very dearly then please do J
Q: I want my girlfriend to move in with me but I’m too scared to take the chance. What do I do?
A: Life is about taking chances. What’s the worse that can happen?
Q: I want to get engaged to my girlfriend but I’m too scared. What now?
A: Life is about taking chances.
Q: I’m a virgin. Do I give my virginity to my partner?
A: You don’t have to give it to the first person you meet. Make sure this person is sincere and likes you for you and isn’t just around to use you.
Q: I’m a 20-yearold female. What would you say I should not do on a first date?
A: First of all I want to say remember first impressions last. Be yourself – just leave your not so good part of yourself at home and put forward your great self.
Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don’t talk about your ex boyfriends/girlfriends. Don’t bitch and moan about things. Don’t wear too much make-up he wants to see the person he is dating not an overload of Revlon. Don’t wear clothes that make your breasts hang out, it’s sexy to some but slutty to most and you want him to look you in your eyes not stare at your assets. Do not speak with your mouth full – yes your mother has told you this since you were small and that was a good tip thank her. Never ever trust this person too soon you don’t know if he is who he really is so meet at a public place and have your own transport or means of transport ready. Please use the manners your mother taught you. Don’t pressure the guy to have sex with you if he doesn’t want to. If you want to see the person again maybe you shouldn’t sleep with him on the first date, first impressions last.
Q: I have to tell my girlfriend how I’m feeling otherwise I’m bottling it up but it hurts her – what do I do?
A: You don’t have to bottle it up and it only feels that you’re bottling it up because you are thinking it. The mind is a powerful thing. Tell her in a nice way. You don’t have to blurt everything out you know you can sugar-coat your words.
Q: Does my partner need to know of my past because it will hurt her if she hears it.
A: No your partner doesn’t need to know of your past. If you don’t talk about it she can’t ask you about it. And only tell her what she needs to know. The basic facts.
Q: Having sex hurts physically, do I tell my partner?
A: Yes you do and you should tell him that ASAP. It might be something medical.
Q: My husband controls me – what must I do?
A; Sometimes it is nice to have a partner who comments on what he would like you to wear or how he would like you to wear your hair. The problem comes when you are too independent. Just watch out that it won’t turn into an abusive relationship.
Q: What would you say someone should wear on a first date?
A: Wear according to the weather – short skirts aren’t that great in winter or rainy weather. Wear something sexy but that covers your assets you want him to meet you then your assets not the other way around. Wear something comfortable but classy. Wear just enough make-up to enhance your looks he needs to see your beautiful face.
Q: Must I choose my partner or my career?
A: We as humans are created to love and be loved and nobody can make that decision for you. It is for you to decide which one is more important to you.
Q: Am I doing too much for my partner?
A: There is no such thing except when the other person doesn’t appreciate what you are doing or is taking advantage.
Q: I found condoms in my partner car – but we don’t use condoms. Help!
A: One word, confrontation. Confront your partner and then look for any sign or gut feelings that the person is lying.
Q: My partner doesn’t like me touching him – what’s a girl to do?
A: Some men just are like that but he should respect that you want to touch him. Compromise. Come to a conclusion together.
Q: My partner browses chat-sites and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Do you think I am being paranoid?
A: Browsing the internet while in a relationship can cause many problems. If he is on Facebook or MySpace, then I guess there are some girls from school or work that are on his friends list and that could make you feel very uncomfortable hey. The chances are that you have nothing to worry about but we all know the human mind and we all know men. Most men would sleep with anybody who is female. If I were you I’d just keep my eye on the situation. There’s no use in stressing about something that has not happened yet.
Q: My girlfriend is a virgin. We have decided, together, that I’m going to be her first.
A: So you both know what you want. Be gentle. Buy some candles. Start with a romantic bath with foam bath, candles that light the room (red and pink). Make out in the bath. When you are done caressing, kissing and building the passion – take it to the candlelit bedroom. She is going to be nervous and scared inside – it’s her first time.
Q: My boyfriend is going to a party (a female’s friend of his’ birthday party) and he didn’t even invite me. What does that mean and what am I to do?
A: He must have a good reason for not inviting you. Yes we as women feel very insecure when it comes to our boyfriends’ females friends. Even though we don’t have to feel threatened- we do. Your first instinct is to think that he didn’t invite you because he wants to keep you a secret, doesn’t want you to meet her or is going to do something totally irresponsible. Most men are going to do something irresponsible but it’s not to say that you boyfriend is going to. Just trust in your love and your relationship. There is no use in stressing about the inevitable. You can stretch the timeline but not the outcome. Even though you feel like this event is crushing you – you have to let him have his fun because when you guys fight or even break up then this event is going to get thrown in your face. You cannot change a man and you cannot cage a man. You just have to put up with this kind of behaviour if you want to keep him. When you keep a man on a short leash he is going to try and break free. If you are going to keep him on a short leash you are going to get a kick under the ass.
Q: My boyfriend is going to an old female’s friend of his’ birthday party and I’m feeling kind of insecure about it. Am I wrong?
A: Girl, you are so not wrong. Yes we as women feel very insecure when it comes to our boyfriends’ females friends. Even though we don’t have to feel threatened- we do. Ask him whether you can go with. If he says yes, then he has nothing to hide. If he says no, well, then he is either shy of you or don’t want you to go with. Your first instinct is to think that he didn’t invite you because he wants to keep you a secret, doesn’t want you to meet her or is going to do something totally irresponsible. I’m going to repeat the advice I gave above because this I have learned the hard way. Most men are going to do something irresponsible but it’s not to say that you boyfriend is going to. Just trust in your love and your relationship. There is no use in stressing about the inevitable. You can stretch the timeline but not the outcome. Even though you feel like this event is crushing you – you have to let him have his fun because when you guys fight or even break up then this event is going to get thrown in your face. You cannot change a man and you cannot cage a man. You just have to put up with this kind of behaviour if you want to keep him. When you keep a man on a short leash he is going to try and break free. If you are going to keep him on a short leash you are going to get a kick under the ass. Most men have their own interests at your not their partners’. Just hope for the best and keep hoping. Hoping and wishing has never been a crime.
Q: My boyfriend won’t leave his drugs for me. I am at my wits end. I need to know what to do.
A: You have to choose. Do you want to leave him or are you going to accept him using drugs. You cannot change him. If he does not want to change, take yourself out of the situation because you don’t need him. If he does not want to leave the drugs for you and you mean that little to him then move on. It might not feel as if you can but you came into this world alone and you die alone so you don’t need him. If you have a child –do it for your child. Yes people are who they arte but people are also who they choose to be. Do what you can live with.
Q: My partner does not like the same music as I do.
A: Your partner does not need to like the same music as you do. You could actually respect each others taste in music and learn from each other. People are different – we are created this way.
Q: I’m pregnant; do I need to tell my partner or ex before I go for an abortion?
A: Oh most definitely. It takes two to create a baby why shouldn’t it take two to decide on abortion. It is his baby too you know.
Q: I think I’m gay, How do I tell my partner. I’m scared my partner won’t understand.
A: Your partner deserves to know the truth. Tell your partner in person not over the phone and do it in a calm environment. Say it as graceful as you can. Say it the way you would have wanted to hear it if you had to.
Q: My boyfriend wants to leave me. Do I trick him and get pregnant?
A: Hell no! That is a recipe for disaster. What happens if he doesn’t want it or cannot afford it? If he wants to leave you then it’s a ticket for you to move one. Don’t bring an innocent child into it.
Q: My boyfriend is cheating – what do I do?
A: First of all, get hard facts. Then confront him with it. Find out who he is cheating with and let them know who you are. Then try and found out what went wrong between the two of you.
Q: My boyfriend is always nasty to me, what is his problem and what can I do?
A: There could be a number of things wrong but I don’t think that him being nasty to you is right. He should have respect for you and your feelings.
Q: I’m going through a really difficult time and I’m trying to explain this to him but he just keeps on making nasty comments. I don’t know what to do I need your help.
A: First of all a partner is there to support you and wipe away the tears. Need I say more?
Q: My boyfriend doesn’t support me when I’m sad and all I want is him to comfort me. What am I to do?
A: It’s not what you can do; it’s about what he can’t. A partner should learn to do things they never did before. He should know to hold you when you are sad. There is nothing as terrible as being sad and having nobody to comfort you. Explain to him how you feel or leave him and find someone who will be a better partner. You can’t change people who don’t want to change.
Q: My girlfriend lives in a shithole; do I ask her to move in with me?
A: Just by the fact that you are asking this tells me that you care. If you both have the same standard or her standard are even higher than yours then why not. If your girlfriend is living in a bad place then she needs a hero – and who better than you to be the hero? Just make sure you know her well enough.
Q: My boyfriend knows that I’ll commit suicide if he leaves me. Now he is too scared too follow what he wants to do because he doesn’t want my suicide on his mind. What now?
A: By the fact that you are even so sure that you will do it tells me that you have thought about it a lot and have your plan completely worked out. You might even succeed but tell him that he doesn’t have to worry and reassure him in any way possible. If you commit suicide he wont even know because how is he going to find out?
Q: My partner wants to take ballroom dancing lessons and I don’t want my partner to because I’m a jealous person.
A: Don’t wear your heart and your sleeve for too long. Take the lessons with your partner. This might be your partners dream please be considerate and see help for your jealousy. Speak to a professional about your jealousy and possessiveness.
Q: I want my girlfriend to wear lingerie.
A: You do know she cannot read mind don’t you? You have to speak to her and mention it. If she seems to be okay with it, well, then buy her lingerie as a surprise present. Check if she’ll wear it. Communication is the key.
Q: I want to wear lingerie for my boyfriend but he already had girlfriends that wore lingerie for him. How do I beat that?
A: it not for you to beat it. So what, girls wore lingerie for him. Ten to one it’s not like it seems. Get a sexy number that suits your figure and that’s more you. It doesn’t mean that because he had women wearing sexy pieces for him that he won’t appreciate you wearing it for him. It will still turn him on and you will still look sexy for him. Don’t wear yourself down wit these worries. Concentrate on your relationship not his past.
Q: What is the average age for starting periods?
A: It could start around 12 – 13 years of age or maybe even as late as 16 or 17. Every person is different and start around different ages. There are girls as young as 9 staring their periods.
Q: I want to take my girlfriend away from a very bad place she is staying in but I’m too scared because I previously had a bad experience with that. Do I ask her or am I right to be weary?
A: This is your girlfriend we are talking about. She is staying in a place which I’m sure you don’t even approve of as something she should call home because home is where the heart is. Previous issues have nothing to do with the future and that is what you have to drill into your mind. If you do not take the chance then you will never know what could have happened. Your girlfriend needs a hero round about now and do you know how much that could mean to her that you gave her a place of safety and love? Imagine having a girlfriend who tells you that you are her hero.
Q: My girlfriend keeps crying – I wish she would just stop sopping about everything. Am I wrong for wanting this?
A: And when you are sad? When you are ill? Don’t you think she would comfort you or rather help you than to tell you to shut up? She is sad. Comfort her. I’m sure she’s sad for a reason. Be a real man and support and nurture her because she needs you.
Q: My boyfriend feels more sorry for me than he loves me. Is this something I want to live with?
A: Let me start off by saying that girlfriends should act tough even if they are dying inside. Don’t let a man ever see your vulnerable side. Cry but cry alone. Once they see the tears you practically give them a one way ticket. Men don’t want to see their chicks cry about everything. Things that happened in your past should stay in the past. Do not and I repeat do not tell them about exes, rape or family issues. We all say that in relationships your boyfriend should support you etc but let’s face reality. If you had a bad life he is going to feel sorry for you and feel obligated not to leave you. It is also unfair towards him to only want to stay with you because he doesn’t think you could handle a breakup.
Q: My man is a drug addict and wants me to accept it. What now?
A: Men say they will love you more if you accept their snags and gags like them being drug-addicts, do not believe it. Somebody can't love you more because you let them do drugs. If he won’t change then leave. You owe it to yourself.
Q: Every time my dad buys me something my mom demands the same thing, from clothes to body deodorant. This is driving me crazy because for once I want to receive something, alone. Please help.
A: This can be so frustrating and seem like something stupid but something stupid like this has such a big impact on your feelings. There is not much you can do because talking to your mom won’t solve the problem. Just grin and bear it and don’t involve yourself.
Q: I want to be cool at school; I don’t want to be the nurde anymore.
A: Either you are cool or you aren’t. You are worrying about school – you have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you worry about what children think? I know, I know you want tips on how to be cool – so here they are: Walk up straight, don’t slouch, speak clearly and in a confident voice – do not whisper, get the latest tunes, get the latest fashion magazine, buy new clothes that is in season, its all about hair, fashion, nails and things you do. Hang out with the right crowd that will make you look cool.
Q: My partner was raped, what do I do now?
A: This is probably going to be the hardest time of your partners life and what happened is going to hurt like hell for the both of you but you need to be strong for your partner. Tips on how to deal with it: Be sympathetic and acknowledge your partners pain. Your partner might be distant – remember it is not your fault. Give support where you can. Keep in mind that the rape isn’t your fault either. Try to get your partner to get out – your partner needs to get it off his/her mind. Show your partner that you are there to protect him/her. Give him/her brochures to read about rape. Let him/her know that she/he could either be a rape victim or a rape survivor and to be a rape survivor is the best. If the rapist identity is known – encourage him/her to report it. If you do report it be prepared for a great battle but it will be rewarding in the end and bring closure. Show her that you are trustworthy and there to help. Look out for signs of depression – if it gets out of hand seek help for the both of you.
Q: What does one do if you catch your boyfriend in the act? (in bed with someone else)
A: You might want to commit murder when you catch them in the act but there are easier things to do: Politely tell them to go on you are just quickly going to pack your things. Go sit on the bed and ask them what sick people are they. Ask your partner did he/she really think you wouldn’t find out. Ask your partner what drove him/her to cheating. Stay calm – don’t reach for any sharp objects, talk things out.
Q: Can you please give me some flirting tips?
A: Women are so much more subtle about flirting clues that men need to really pay attention. Ladies, men are not used to women flirting with them. An overwhelming majority of men said they would just love it if a woman would talk to them first or at least express a larger clue that you were interested in checking them out. Repeated contact...at least three separate verbal or non-verbal clues need to be given. Why? The first time he's going to look around and make sure it's really him that you are flirting with. The second, he knows it's him and he gets flushed and pleased. (At this point he'll probably walk by you and at least smile…he's checking you out a little more.) The third time you can express interest-by introducing yourself, or commenting on his tie, or waving from across the room. Now he knows you are open to meeting and it will be a cinch. Whisper...it always gets their attention. Ask them if you can tell them a secret...Then whisper in their ear: 'I just love your tie...can I buy it from you when you are done with it?' Don't sit with other women...men don't want you to reject them in front of an audience. If you do go out with a friend...separate every so often or take a breather from talking...men do not want to risk your disapproval by interrupting you. (You have already missed out on a lot of quality polite men who didn't want to interrupt.) Treat men gently...If someone you are not interested in approaches you and flirts ...be nice.... All the other men are watching to see what you do. If you laugh after he leaves or show visual disapproval, you are cutting your chances on anyone else approaching you. Try shaking his hand and saying something like: 'It was so nice of you to approach me...what's your name? Tom? Tom, I know how hard it is to meet people...I might have a girlfriend who would be interested in you.' IF he acts like a JERK! Be polite but firm. Hand him a copy of the men's version of 'Flirting with Greatness' and ask him to go practice on someone else. Firmly say that 'lines' with sexual overtones are not only not attractive to you but to most other women in the world. Use the Buddy system. Walk through a group of men and have someone watch to see who's checking you out. Become More Irresistible! Show a little leg....wear higher heels...the redder the lipstick the more available and noticeable you will be. Arch your back a little as you sit up tall and cross your legs high. Wear earrings that are interesting enough to make someone comment on them. Look over your shoulder...and smile at him. This asymmetrical position is always a signal you are interested. Give him a look all over from head to toe - nod with approval and then smile. Keep in mind that flirting is a way of connecting from the heart and acknowledging someone.
Q: My girlfriend suffers from anorexia/bulimia (eating disorder), I’m at my wits end. I don’t want her to be ill or die. I’m pleading for help.
A: Let me thank you for standing by your girlfriend. You need so much praise for being there for her and asking for help. I do need to tell you that this article can give you guidelines but you need much much more help than reading this. You need to tell her how you feel and that you want to help her. You need to get her to a doctor to get her weighed and have a full body checkup for any side-effects the anorexia/bulimia had. She also needs a psychologist or psychiatrist ASAP.
Q: What is bulimia and the side-effects?
A: Bulimia is when a male/female binges and purges i.o.w, eats and puts their finger down their throat to puke. The side effects to name a few are: heart complications from puking. Most people who are bulimic wont be as under weight as people with anorexia.
Q: What is anorexia and the ruthless side effects?
A: Anorexia is when the male/female refuses to eat or only eats too small portions than they should. The side-effects are: hair loss, hair growing on stomach to keep the body warm because there is no fat, periods for females to disappear, breaking of bones, osteoporoses in old age, just to name a few.
Q: How can I get ways to keep healthy?
A: Set realistic targets and tackle one area of weakness at a time. Eat a more balanced diet and maintain a healthy weight. If you are overweight or underweight it takes a big toile on your health and heart. Keep your alcohol intake within government-prescribed safe limits. If you smoke, look at ways to stop. Take more exercise. The human body needs to keep fit. Visit the doctor if you have a persistent health problem. Better safe than sorry. Consider how you might cultivate better ways to cope with stress. Stress has never ever been good for anybody’s health though we have it every day of our life.
Q: My partner fantasizes about other women. What do I do now?
A: Well there is not much that you can do. Men fantasize about other women all the time and there is nothing odd about it. You might be stressing for nothing. He is still with you ain’t he? So you must be doing something right.
Q: I want to get engaged, my man doesn’t. What is a girl to do?
A: This is quite simple. Don’t pressure him or you will push him away. He will do it when the time is right – let him be. You aren’t missing much.
Q: How do I get rid of an ex?
A: Exes can be very stubborn – to the point where we want to hire hitmen or sell them to an place with an obsessive amount of poverty. Try these tips before you do anything drastic, if it doesn’t work you can revert to desperate measures. Your ex: Don’t reply on your exes sms’. Don’t phone your ex. If you see him/her wave to say hello and walk past. Don’t chitchat – it’s an ex not your friend. Erase their number from your phone if you don’t have the nr you cant call. If they should phone and bug you don’t answer. If they rock up at your home call the police you have a stalker believe me! If the police won’t help adopt a blood seeking rotweiler or two. Throw anything you have of your ex away. Play on their sensitive subjects even if it’ll make them hate you – better hate than stalking. If you are cornered and have to talk to them keep it blunt and to the point. Even if you love them don’t let them know they’ll get hope from it. Don’t meet your exes even though they want to meet up with you for “closure” – it’s just opening a new can of worms. Change your phone number. His/her ex: Phone his/he ex that’s bugging you two and tell the ex you and your partner have moved on. Let his ex know that he/she’s an ex for a reason. Tell your partner if it’s bugging you and what you would like e.g. Him not contacting her/him anymore.
Q: I want to get engaged to feel that I belong.
A: That is kind of a strange reason to want to get engaged. I’m sure you love this person but things happen when they are supposed to. Be patient – it might be worth the wait you know.
Q: How does one handle a breakup?
A: A break-up was never easy and it’s never going to be but here are a few tips to make it more bearable. Go to friends for comfort you need to get your mind off of your turn of events. Go sing karaoke at the nearest place. Try to meet new people – your judge of character might be a little bit low now so take a trustworthy person with. Delete any sms’, get rid of any letters, gifts, photo’s etc (Throw away or pack it into a box and put it away for now) – the last thing you need is reminders. Don’t beg to get him back, getting rejected every time will only make you break even more – if he wants you back he will ask you back (he has your phone number).If he has a new partner don’t bug him and mess up their relationship – this girl did you no harm she wants to be happy just like you. If you can’t help contacting him write the number down, delete it from your phone and give it to your friend in an envelope for safe keeping until you can resist calling/smsing him. Don’t bad-mouth him it doesn’t mean because he left you that you can slander his name it’ll come back to haunt you. Cry your heart out, cry, cry and cry – you need to get that emotion out of your system, it’s for the best. You have a fear of being lonely or alone? You are made to be in a partnership? A dog is mans best friend, get a puppy or cat maybe even a teddy bear, put your energy into something else. So your boyfriend is gone, find something else to fill that void or space. Keep busy! You probably have internet so read, read and read some more. Go to a party – you might not feel up to it but it’ll do you good.
Q: My partner wants to do anal and I don’t.
A: Umm, I know that you want to experiment with this or enjoy it but people have choice and don’t you think that there are other ways of doing it? You can’t force someone to have sex with you via your bum. It might even be for your own good because this person could be inexperienced and not use enough lube and hurt the inside. If this person does not want to do it then let them be you aren’t missing much.
Q: I had an abortion quite some time ago – is it too late to tell my partner now?
A: It is never too late to tell the truth.
Q: I’m not a virgin. I feel like I have nothing to give my partner. What am I to do?
A: Bring a virgin can be mentally too. It doesn’t mean that because you lost it physically you can’t give it mentally to your partner. Explain that to your partner.
Q: My girlfriend is getting fat and I hate fat people. Its either she loses weight or I dump her. What should I do?
A: Tell her how you feel. She will either understand and ask you to help her lose weight or you will get a bitch-slap maybe even killed – joke. If she agrees to lose weight then support her and help get some info and programs. Might I add that it is very superficial of you to dump her because of a few pounds?
Q: My girlfriend is getting fat and I am worried about her health. What should I do?
A: Tell her how you feel. She will either understand and ask you to help her lose weight or you will get a bitch-slap maybe even killed – joke. If she agrees to lose weight then support her and help get some info and programs.
Q: My girlfriend fantasizes about other men. What do I do now?
A: Well there is not much that you can do. You might be stressing for nothing. She is still with you ain’t she? So you must be doing something right. Just keep a close eye on the situation.
Q: I want to engaged, my woman doesn’t. What is a guy to do?
A: This is quite simple. Don’t pressure her or you will push her away. She will let you know when the time is right – let her be. It will be something great and one of the best days in your life. Be patient.
Q: I want to move n with my partner badly, what do I do?
A: Let a hint slip now and then or ask him to his face. The worse he could do is say no. If he isn’t ready then you have to respect that.
Q: Does my partner need to know of my past because it will hurt him if he hears it.
A: No your partner doesn’t need to know of your past. If you don’t talk about it he can’t ask you about it. And only tell him what he needs to know. The basic facts.
Q: I have to tell my partner how I’m feeling otherwise I’m bottling it up but it hurts him – what do I do?
A: You don’t have to bottle it up and it only feels that you’re bottling it up because you are thinking it. The mind is a powerful thing. Tell him in a nice way. You don’t have to blurt everything out you know you can sugar-coat your words.
Q: My partner wants me to move in with him but I’m too scared to take the chance. What do I do?
A: Life is about taking chances. What’s the worse that can happen?
Q: I’m scared of losing my partner. I’m going out of my mind with worries. Please tell me what I should do.
A: Oh my gosh, ouch, this is something most of us worry about. There is no use is worrying. He/she is gonna leave if he/she wants to and there is nothing you can do to stop the person but you can show him/her what he/she would be losing if he/she left. Just enjoy the time you have with your partner. Put on a brave face.
Q: I’m starting to doubt whether I can make my partner happy. Am I a good or a bad partner and what am I to do?
A: Judging by the fact that you are here and trying to find out what to do tells me that you are putting or trying to put effort in this relationship. Nothing and nobody is perfect, hun. Only you can judge by your standard whether you are a good or bad partner. It is for your partner to decide whether you can make him/her happy. Maybe it’s not even you that’s making him/her unhappy. He/she could be under a lot of stress at work
Q: My partner wants me to have sex with him while I have my periods. It grosses me out. Help?!
A: Periods is part of nature and sex is part of nature – so why not do both? If you really don’t want to then tell him but you should maybe at least try considering it. Get a red towel to place under you.
Q: I want my girlfriend to moan while I satisfy her but she doesn’t. Help, what do I do?
A: Most gals are too shy – let her know how you feel and that it is sexy to you. Also consider that maybe she isn’t getting the feeling she should. There could be something medically wrong.
Q: My partner died a year ago and I have met a new person. Am I ready to move on?
A: Let me begin by saying I’m sorry about your loss and that it must’ve been very difficult for you and I sympathize. Only you can decide whether you are ready if not. You will be able to feel it in your heart – when you are ready, you will be able to feel ready.
Q: My ex lost our baby and I cannot get over it. What can I do?
A: The only thing I can suggest is talk to your ex partner about going for counseling together. This will rip your apart if you do not go for help. Make an appointment ASAP.
Q: Can you maybe give me some tips on Internet Dating?
A: Cyber dating could turn into a real relationship just don’t put all your hope on it. Here are some tips. Don’t feel bad to cross-question the person you are speaking to. If you know somebody, a friend or a family member in the police ask them to check this person out. Write down all details this person gives you to check if it changes when asked at a later stage. Be careful of sending photos that could be doctored. Be extra careful of sending naked photos it can become incriminating. Try to get as much information as possible to get to know this person as best you can. If you meet, please meet in a public place. You don’t know this person.
Q: How do I tell my partner I’m pregnant?
A: Okay, so now you are pregnant and you know this for a fact – how on earth do you tell him? Here are some facts and tips. He does have a right to know but it is your choice whether you tell him or not. Even if you want to get an abortion its only right that he should know that you are going to have one. Arrange a romantic dinner and tell him then. Write him a letter (but he will respect it more face to face). Start by saying you love him and you respect his opinions…blah blah….
Q: If you could give your dating advice in one paragraph, what would it be?
A: I would begin by saying, if you are single and ready to mingle then apply a few significant dating tips. These dating tips will be helpful in getting your soul mate. Being a single is quite tough, as there are several things to share. Although, there are no such magic formulas for trapping your Mr. Right or Miss Right, still you can apply a few dating tips. People have several misconceptions about dating. Dating is simply meeting and socializing with a person who may or may not bring shine in life. Significant Ideas for Dating Tips - You must do a little preparation before going for a date. Your appearance or preparation must be in accordance with the person with whom you are going for date. In order to make your date a complete success, you must work hard. Your feelings play key role in a successful date. This is a great dating tip. One of the major dating tips in looking out for the love of your life is your appearance. Although, appearance is considered deceptive, still it plays key role while dating. In order to enhance your appearance, you must go for a gym, read health magazines and have healthy diet. People often neglect their hairstyles, but they are significant to your appearance. A good grooming or beauty treatment would be helpful in making your date a success. Love and emotions are the key factors while going for dating. But, there is another very significant factor. Your clothes have major part in your appearance. It would be advisable to wear only comfortable clothes. Do not get overboard. Before going for the date, you must consider a few things. For instance, if you are ready for commitment or just going out for a simple enjoyment. These few factors must be considered. On the other hand, if you are getting involved with feelings and looking for a long-term relationship then set your mind accordingly. Before going on date, try to get rid from all the negative thoughts and go for positive social gatherings. This would lead to the enhancement of self-belief and nerve.
Q: I’m pregnant and I want an abortion but my partner doesn’t believe in abortion.
A: Well I guess he didn’t believe in condoms or contraceptive either. You should’ve thought of these things way earlier but hey people learn from their mistakes. Ask him to get more information with you from clinic. Get brochures and talk about it. If her doesn’t budge then so be it. He will have to provide for that child. Having a baby might not be so bad. At least you have a man who cares about you and wants a family – most people don’t have that luxury.
Q: I cheated on my partner – how do I tell him?
A: Tell him with all sincerity and let him know that you regret it. Ask him for forgiveness.
Q: My partner hits me, what do I do?
A: You can’t change a man that hits women. Go to your nearest family member and tell them. Go to the police and make a case ASAP please. This is your life we are talking about.
Q: My partner doesn’t look me in the eyes when having sex.
A: Talk to your partner about this. Your partner might not even be noticing that he/she is doing this. Take into consideration that your partner might just be living the moment.
Q: My partners getting distant – what do I do?
A: There’s not much you can do. Ask your partner why he/she is getting distant and be prepared to hear bad news. Try to resolve this issue your relationship deserves it.
Q: My girlfriend wants me to have sex with her while she has her periods. It grosses me out. Help?!
A: Periods is part of nature and sex is part of nature – so why not do both? If you really don’t want to then tell her but you should maybe at least try considering it. Get a red towel to place under her.
Q: My partner accuses me of cheating and so help me God, I’m not cheating! How do I get this bull out of his head?
A: He might just be very jealous and you have to help him with that. When he gets jealous over something then you just have to tell him that you love him and only him etc etc. You will have to reassure him to build his confidence in the relationship.
Q: Is it too soon to move on?
A: Nobody can tell you whether it is too soon to move on and you will feel it in your gut when you are ready to move on. Just keep in mind that it's gonna hurt your partner to see you move on within the first month.
Q: My partner won’t say he loves me and sometimes I feel it’s asking him too much. Am I wrong?
A: No, you are absolutely not wrong for asking. If he is just playing on your feelings in any way whatsoever then he is wrong. He can’t love you but let you worry just for the fun of it. You are not his toy, you are his partner.
Q: I’m scared of losing my partner. I’m going out of my mind with worries. Please tell me what I should do.
A: Oh my gosh, ouch, this is something most of us girls worry about. There is no use is worrying. He is gonna leave if he wants to and there is nothing you can do to stop him but you can show him what he would be losing if he left. Just enjoy the time you have with him. Put on a brave face.
Q: I’m starting to doubt whether I can make my partner happy. Am I a good or a bad girlfriend and what am I to do?
A: Judging by the fact that you are here and trying to find out what to do tells me that you are putting or trying to put effort in this relationship. Nothing and nobody is perfect, hun. Only you can judge by your standard whether you are a good or bad girlfriend. It is for your partner to decide whether you can make him happy. Maybe it’s not even you that’s making him unhappy. He could be under a lot of stress at work
Q: I lost our baby and my partner cannot get over it. What can we do?
A: The only thing I can suggest is talk to your partner about going for counseling together. This will rip your relationship apart if you do not go for help. Make an appointment ASAP.
Q: How can I tell whether my partner was pregnant before from another man but lost the baby? Can this be why they broke up?
A: Just ask your partner straight to her face. If she lies just wait – she will tell you the truth in her own time when she is ready. This could be the reason they broke up but this was before you so do not worry about nothing.
Q: My partner died a year ago and I have met a new person. Am I ready to move on?
A: Let me begin by saying I am sorry about your loss and that it must have been very difficult for you and I sympathize. Only you can decide whether you are ready if not. You will be able to feel it in your heart – when you are ready, you will be able to feel ready.
Q: I want to phone my partner – but I don’t have a job to pay for airtime.
A: Yes your partner would love to receive a phone call from you now and then but explain to your partner. He/she will understand. You will find a job soon and then you can spoil your partner.
Q: My partner got badly burned and disfigured in an accident. What do I do?
A: If this is true love then you’ll love the person for what’s inside not outside and it shouldn’t make a difference to you. He/she is still the same person inside. This is where you prove yourself worthy of love.
Q: My partner can’t get erect anymore. What now?
A: Go to your GP or a pharmacy and ask for your options (pills etc).
Q: I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me, is it the right thing to do?
A: If you love her very dearly then please do J
Q: I want my girlfriend to move in with me but I’m too scared to take the chance. What do I do?
A: Life is about taking chances. What’s the worse that can happen?
Q: I want to get engaged to my girlfriend but I’m too scared. What now?
A: Life is about taking chances.
Q: I’m a virgin. Do I give my virginity to my partner?
A: You don’t have to give it to the first person you meet. Make sure this person is sincere and likes you for you and isn’t just around to use you.
Q: I’m a 20-yearold female. What would you say I should not do on a first date?
A: First of all I want to say remember first impressions last. Be yourself – just leave your not so good part of yourself at home and put forward your great self.
Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don’t talk about your ex boyfriends/girlfriends. Don’t bitch and moan about things. Don’t wear too much make-up he wants to see the person he is dating not an overload of Revlon. Don’t wear clothes that make your breasts hang out, it’s sexy to some but slutty to most and you want him to look you in your eyes not stare at your assets. Do not speak with your mouth full – yes your mother has told you this since you were small and that was a good tip thank her. Never ever trust this person too soon you don’t know if he is who he really is so meet at a public place and have your own transport or means of transport ready. Please use the manners your mother taught you. Don’t pressure the guy to have sex with you if he doesn’t want to. If you want to see the person again maybe you shouldn’t sleep with him on the first date, first impressions last.
Q: I have to tell my girlfriend how I’m feeling otherwise I’m bottling it up but it hurts her – what do I do?
A: You don’t have to bottle it up and it only feels that you’re bottling it up because you are thinking it. The mind is a powerful thing. Tell her in a nice way. You don’t have to blurt everything out you know you can sugar-coat your words.
Q: Does my partner need to know of my past because it will hurt her if she hears it.
A: No your partner doesn’t need to know of your past. If you don’t talk about it she can’t ask you about it. And only tell her what she needs to know. The basic facts.
Q: Having sex hurts physically, do I tell my partner?
A: Yes you do and you should tell him that ASAP. It might be something medical.
Q: My husband controls me – what must I do?
A; Sometimes it is nice to have a partner who comments on what he would like you to wear or how he would like you to wear your hair. The problem comes when you are too independent. Just watch out that it won’t turn into an abusive relationship.
Q: What would you say someone should wear on a first date?
A: Wear according to the weather – short skirts aren’t that great in winter or rainy weather. Wear something sexy but that covers your assets you want him to meet you then your assets not the other way around. Wear something comfortable but classy. Wear just enough make-up to enhance your looks he needs to see your beautiful face.
Q: Must I choose my partner or my career?
A: We as humans are created to love and be loved and nobody can make that decision for you. It is for you to decide which one is more important to you.
Q: Am I doing too much for my partner?
A: There is no such thing except when the other person doesn’t appreciate what you are doing or is taking advantage.
Q: I found condoms in my partner car – but we don’t use condoms. Help!
A: One word, confrontation. Confront your partner and then look for any sign or gut feelings that the person is lying.
Q: My partner doesn’t like me touching him – what’s a girl to do?
A: Some men just are like that but he should respect that you want to touch him. Compromise. Come to a conclusion together.
Q: My partner browses chat-sites and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Do you think I am being paranoid?
A: Browsing the internet while in a relationship can cause many problems. If he is on Facebook or MySpace, then I guess there are some girls from school or work that are on his friends list and that could make you feel very uncomfortable hey. The chances are that you have nothing to worry about but we all know the human mind and we all know men. Most men would sleep with anybody who is female. If I were you I’d just keep my eye on the situation. There’s no use in stressing about something that has not happened yet.
Q: My girlfriend is a virgin. We have decided, together, that I’m going to be her first.
A: So you both know what you want. Be gentle. Buy some candles. Start with a romantic bath with foam bath, candles that light the room (red and pink). Make out in the bath. When you are done caressing, kissing and building the passion – take it to the candlelit bedroom. She is going to be nervous and scared inside – it’s her first time.
Q: My boyfriend is going to a party (a female’s friend of his’ birthday party) and he didn’t even invite me. What does that mean and what am I to do?
A: He must have a good reason for not inviting you. Yes we as women feel very insecure when it comes to our boyfriends’ females friends. Even though we don’t have to feel threatened- we do. Your first instinct is to think that he didn’t invite you because he wants to keep you a secret, doesn’t want you to meet her or is going to do something totally irresponsible. Most men are going to do something irresponsible but it’s not to say that you boyfriend is going to. Just trust in your love and your relationship. There is no use in stressing about the inevitable. You can stretch the timeline but not the outcome. Even though you feel like this event is crushing you – you have to let him have his fun because when you guys fight or even break up then this event is going to get thrown in your face. You cannot change a man and you cannot cage a man. You just have to put up with this kind of behaviour if you want to keep him. When you keep a man on a short leash he is going to try and break free. If you are going to keep him on a short leash you are going to get a kick under the ass.
Q: My boyfriend is going to an old female’s friend of his’ birthday party and I’m feeling kind of insecure about it. Am I wrong?
A: Girl, you are so not wrong. Yes we as women feel very insecure when it comes to our boyfriends’ females friends. Even though we don’t have to feel threatened- we do. Ask him whether you can go with. If he says yes, then he has nothing to hide. If he says no, well, then he is either shy of you or don’t want you to go with. Your first instinct is to think that he didn’t invite you because he wants to keep you a secret, doesn’t want you to meet her or is going to do something totally irresponsible. I’m going to repeat the advice I gave above because this I have learned the hard way. Most men are going to do something irresponsible but it’s not to say that you boyfriend is going to. Just trust in your love and your relationship. There is no use in stressing about the inevitable. You can stretch the timeline but not the outcome. Even though you feel like this event is crushing you – you have to let him have his fun because when you guys fight or even break up then this event is going to get thrown in your face. You cannot change a man and you cannot cage a man. You just have to put up with this kind of behaviour if you want to keep him. When you keep a man on a short leash he is going to try and break free. If you are going to keep him on a short leash you are going to get a kick under the ass. Most men have their own interests at your not their partners’. Just hope for the best and keep hoping. Hoping and wishing has never been a crime.
Q: My boyfriend won’t leave his drugs for me. I am at my wits end. I need to know what to do.
A: You have to choose. Do you want to leave him or are you going to accept him using drugs. You cannot change him. If he does not want to change, take yourself out of the situation because you don’t need him. If he does not want to leave the drugs for you and you mean that little to him then move on. It might not feel as if you can but you came into this world alone and you die alone so you don’t need him. If you have a child –do it for your child. Yes people are who they arte but people are also who they choose to be. Do what you can live with.
Q: My partner does not like the same music as I do.
A: Your partner does not need to like the same music as you do. You could actually respect each others taste in music and learn from each other. People are different – we are created this way.
Q: I’m pregnant; do I need to tell my partner or ex before I go for an abortion?
A: Oh most definitely. It takes two to create a baby why shouldn’t it take two to decide on abortion. It is his baby too you know.
Q: I think I’m gay, How do I tell my partner. I’m scared my partner won’t understand.
A: Your partner deserves to know the truth. Tell your partner in person not over the phone and do it in a calm environment. Say it as graceful as you can. Say it the way you would have wanted to hear it if you had to.
Q: My boyfriend wants to leave me. Do I trick him and get pregnant?
A: Hell no! That is a recipe for disaster. What happens if he doesn’t want it or cannot afford it? If he wants to leave you then it’s a ticket for you to move one. Don’t bring an innocent child into it.
Q: My boyfriend is cheating – what do I do?
A: First of all, get hard facts. Then confront him with it. Find out who he is cheating with and let them know who you are. Then try and found out what went wrong between the two of you.
Q: My boyfriend is always nasty to me, what is his problem and what can I do?
A: There could be a number of things wrong but I don’t think that him being nasty to you is right. He should have respect for you and your feelings.
Q: I’m going through a really difficult time and I’m trying to explain this to him but he just keeps on making nasty comments. I don’t know what to do I need your help.
A: First of all a partner is there to support you and wipe away the tears. Need I say more?
Q: My boyfriend doesn’t support me when I’m sad and all I want is him to comfort me. What am I to do?
A: It’s not what you can do; it’s about what he can’t. A partner should learn to do things they never did before. He should know to hold you when you are sad. There is nothing as terrible as being sad and having nobody to comfort you. Explain to him how you feel or leave him and find someone who will be a better partner. You can’t change people who don’t want to change.
Q: My girlfriend lives in a shithole; do I ask her to move in with me?
A: Just by the fact that you are asking this tells me that you care. If you both have the same standard or her standard are even higher than yours then why not. If your girlfriend is living in a bad place then she needs a hero – and who better than you to be the hero? Just make sure you know her well enough.
Q: My boyfriend knows that I’ll commit suicide if he leaves me. Now he is too scared too follow what he wants to do because he doesn’t want my suicide on his mind. What now?
A: By the fact that you are even so sure that you will do it tells me that you have thought about it a lot and have your plan completely worked out. You might even succeed but tell him that he doesn’t have to worry and reassure him in any way possible. If you commit suicide he wont even know because how is he going to find out?
Q: My partner wants to take ballroom dancing lessons and I don’t want my partner to because I’m a jealous person.
A: Don’t wear your heart and your sleeve for too long. Take the lessons with your partner. This might be your partners dream please be considerate and see help for your jealousy. Speak to a professional about your jealousy and possessiveness.
Q: I want my girlfriend to wear lingerie.
A: You do know she cannot read mind don’t you? You have to speak to her and mention it. If she seems to be okay with it, well, then buy her lingerie as a surprise present. Check if she’ll wear it. Communication is the key.
Q: I want to wear lingerie for my boyfriend but he already had girlfriends that wore lingerie for him. How do I beat that?
A: it not for you to beat it. So what, girls wore lingerie for him. Ten to one it’s not like it seems. Get a sexy number that suits your figure and that’s more you. It doesn’t mean that because he had women wearing sexy pieces for him that he won’t appreciate you wearing it for him. It will still turn him on and you will still look sexy for him. Don’t wear yourself down wit these worries. Concentrate on your relationship not his past.
Q: What is the average age for starting periods?
A: It could start around 12 – 13 years of age or maybe even as late as 16 or 17. Every person is different and start around different ages. There are girls as young as 9 staring their periods.
Q: I want to take my girlfriend away from a very bad place she is staying in but I’m too scared because I previously had a bad experience with that. Do I ask her or am I right to be weary?
A: This is your girlfriend we are talking about. She is staying in a place which I’m sure you don’t even approve of as something she should call home because home is where the heart is. Previous issues have nothing to do with the future and that is what you have to drill into your mind. If you do not take the chance then you will never know what could have happened. Your girlfriend needs a hero round about now and do you know how much that could mean to her that you gave her a place of safety and love? Imagine having a girlfriend who tells you that you are her hero.
Q: My girlfriend keeps crying – I wish she would just stop sopping about everything. Am I wrong for wanting this?
A: And when you are sad? When you are ill? Don’t you think she would comfort you or rather help you than to tell you to shut up? She is sad. Comfort her. I’m sure she’s sad for a reason. Be a real man and support and nurture her because she needs you.
Q: My boyfriend feels more sorry for me than he loves me. Is this something I want to live with?
A: Let me start off by saying that girlfriends should act tough even if they are dying inside. Don’t let a man ever see your vulnerable side. Cry but cry alone. Once they see the tears you practically give them a one way ticket. Men don’t want to see their chicks cry about everything. Things that happened in your past should stay in the past. Do not and I repeat do not tell them about exes, rape or family issues. We all say that in relationships your boyfriend should support you etc but let’s face reality. If you had a bad life he is going to feel sorry for you and feel obligated not to leave you. It is also unfair towards him to only want to stay with you because he doesn’t think you could handle a breakup.
Q: My man is a drug addict and wants me to accept it. What now?
A: Men say they will love you more if you accept their snags and gags like them being drug-addicts, do not believe it. Somebody can't love you more because you let them do drugs. If he won’t change then leave. You owe it to yourself.
Q: Every time my dad buys me something my mom demands the same thing, from clothes to body deodorant. This is driving me crazy because for once I want to receive something, alone. Please help.
A: This can be so frustrating and seem like something stupid but something stupid like this has such a big impact on your feelings. There is not much you can do because talking to your mom won’t solve the problem. Just grin and bear it and don’t involve yourself.
Q: I want to be cool at school; I don’t want to be the nurde anymore.
A: Either you are cool or you aren’t. You are worrying about school – you have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you worry about what children think? I know, I know you want tips on how to be cool – so here they are: Walk up straight, don’t slouch, speak clearly and in a confident voice – do not whisper, get the latest tunes, get the latest fashion magazine, buy new clothes that is in season, its all about hair, fashion, nails and things you do. Hang out with the right crowd that will make you look cool.
Q: My partner was raped, what do I do now?
A: This is probably going to be the hardest time of your partners life and what happened is going to hurt like hell for the both of you but you need to be strong for your partner. Tips on how to deal with it: Be sympathetic and acknowledge your partners pain. Your partner might be distant – remember it is not your fault. Give support where you can. Keep in mind that the rape isn’t your fault either. Try to get your partner to get out – your partner needs to get it off his/her mind. Show your partner that you are there to protect him/her. Give him/her brochures to read about rape. Let him/her know that she/he could either be a rape victim or a rape survivor and to be a rape survivor is the best. If the rapist identity is known – encourage him/her to report it. If you do report it be prepared for a great battle but it will be rewarding in the end and bring closure. Show her that you are trustworthy and there to help. Look out for signs of depression – if it gets out of hand seek help for the both of you.
Q: What does one do if you catch your boyfriend in the act? (in bed with someone else)
A: You might want to commit murder when you catch them in the act but there are easier things to do: Politely tell them to go on you are just quickly going to pack your things. Go sit on the bed and ask them what sick people are they. Ask your partner did he/she really think you wouldn’t find out. Ask your partner what drove him/her to cheating. Stay calm – don’t reach for any sharp objects, talk things out.
Q: Can you please give me some flirting tips?
A: Women are so much more subtle about flirting clues that men need to really pay attention. Ladies, men are not used to women flirting with them. An overwhelming majority of men said they would just love it if a woman would talk to them first or at least express a larger clue that you were interested in checking them out. Repeated contact...at least three separate verbal or non-verbal clues need to be given. Why? The first time he's going to look around and make sure it's really him that you are flirting with. The second, he knows it's him and he gets flushed and pleased. (At this point he'll probably walk by you and at least smile…he's checking you out a little more.) The third time you can express interest-by introducing yourself, or commenting on his tie, or waving from across the room. Now he knows you are open to meeting and it will be a cinch. Whisper...it always gets their attention. Ask them if you can tell them a secret...Then whisper in their ear: 'I just love your tie...can I buy it from you when you are done with it?' Don't sit with other women...men don't want you to reject them in front of an audience. If you do go out with a friend...separate every so often or take a breather from talking...men do not want to risk your disapproval by interrupting you. (You have already missed out on a lot of quality polite men who didn't want to interrupt.) Treat men gently...If someone you are not interested in approaches you and flirts ...be nice.... All the other men are watching to see what you do. If you laugh after he leaves or show visual disapproval, you are cutting your chances on anyone else approaching you. Try shaking his hand and saying something like: 'It was so nice of you to approach me...what's your name? Tom? Tom, I know how hard it is to meet people...I might have a girlfriend who would be interested in you.' IF he acts like a JERK! Be polite but firm. Hand him a copy of the men's version of 'Flirting with Greatness' and ask him to go practice on someone else. Firmly say that 'lines' with sexual overtones are not only not attractive to you but to most other women in the world. Use the Buddy system. Walk through a group of men and have someone watch to see who's checking you out. Become More Irresistible! Show a little leg....wear higher heels...the redder the lipstick the more available and noticeable you will be. Arch your back a little as you sit up tall and cross your legs high. Wear earrings that are interesting enough to make someone comment on them. Look over your shoulder...and smile at him. This asymmetrical position is always a signal you are interested. Give him a look all over from head to toe - nod with approval and then smile. Keep in mind that flirting is a way of connecting from the heart and acknowledging someone.
Q: My girlfriend suffers from anorexia/bulimia (eating disorder), I’m at my wits end. I don’t want her to be ill or die. I’m pleading for help.
A: Let me thank you for standing by your girlfriend. You need so much praise for being there for her and asking for help. I do need to tell you that this article can give you guidelines but you need much much more help than reading this. You need to tell her how you feel and that you want to help her. You need to get her to a doctor to get her weighed and have a full body checkup for any side-effects the anorexia/bulimia had. She also needs a psychologist or psychiatrist ASAP.
Q: What is bulimia and the side-effects?
A: Bulimia is when a male/female binges and purges i.o.w, eats and puts their finger down their throat to puke. The side effects to name a few are: heart complications from puking. Most people who are bulimic wont be as under weight as people with anorexia.
Q: What is anorexia and the ruthless side effects?
A: Anorexia is when the male/female refuses to eat or only eats too small portions than they should. The side-effects are: hair loss, hair growing on stomach to keep the body warm because there is no fat, periods for females to disappear, breaking of bones, osteoporoses in old age, just to name a few.
Q: How can I get ways to keep healthy?
A: Set realistic targets and tackle one area of weakness at a time. Eat a more balanced diet and maintain a healthy weight. If you are overweight or underweight it takes a big toile on your health and heart. Keep your alcohol intake within government-prescribed safe limits. If you smoke, look at ways to stop. Take more exercise. The human body needs to keep fit. Visit the doctor if you have a persistent health problem. Better safe than sorry. Consider how you might cultivate better ways to cope with stress. Stress has never ever been good for anybody’s health though we have it every day of our life.
Information About Aries
Dates: 21st march – 20th april
Element: fire
Quality: cardinal
Symbol: the ram
Nature: masculine
Day: tuesday
Metal: iron or steel
Gem: bloodstone
Colour: red
Occupation: politics
Governs: the head
Key word: energy
Positive influences: courage and action
Negative influences: greed and destruction
Ruler: mars, god of war
Element: fire
Quality: cardinal
Symbol: the ram
Nature: masculine
Day: tuesday
Metal: iron or steel
Gem: bloodstone
Colour: red
Occupation: politics
Governs: the head
Key word: energy
Positive influences: courage and action
Negative influences: greed and destruction
Ruler: mars, god of war
Information About Sagittarius
Dates: 22nd November – 21st December
Element: fire
Quality: mutable
Symbol: the archer
Nature: masculine
Day: Thursday
Metal: tin
Gem: turquoise
Colour: blue
Occupation: travel
Governs: the thighs
Key word: progress
Positive influences: adventurous, thoughtful and independent
Negative influences: impulsive, self-centered and domineeringRuler: Jupiter, god of fortune
Element: fire
Quality: mutable
Symbol: the archer
Nature: masculine
Day: Thursday
Metal: tin
Gem: turquoise
Colour: blue
Occupation: travel
Governs: the thighs
Key word: progress
Positive influences: adventurous, thoughtful and independent
Negative influences: impulsive, self-centered and domineeringRuler: Jupiter, god of fortune
Phobias - Naming Fears
Have you ever wondered what your phobia is called? Here are some names – see if your phobia is in this list:
Agoraphobia: Fear of open spaces, being alone/public places
Claustrophobia: Fear of confined or enclosed spaces
Ochlophobia: Fear of crowds
Hydrophobia: Fear of water
Acrophobia: Fear of heights
Arachnophobia: Fear of spiders
Gatophobia: Fear of cats
Nyctophobia: Fear of the night
Personally if I have to describe a phobia in my own words I’d say it is a fear that changes the way you do things.
Agoraphobia: Fear of open spaces, being alone/public places
Claustrophobia: Fear of confined or enclosed spaces
Ochlophobia: Fear of crowds
Hydrophobia: Fear of water
Acrophobia: Fear of heights
Arachnophobia: Fear of spiders
Gatophobia: Fear of cats
Nyctophobia: Fear of the night
Personally if I have to describe a phobia in my own words I’d say it is a fear that changes the way you do things.
April 18, 2008
Aromatic Blending
Aromatic blending for the sheer pleasure of the aroma is a combination of creativity and science. When using a blend created primarily for its fragrance, therapeutic benefit can also occur. The focus of the blend, however, is on the final aroma, not its therapeutic properties.
Fragrance testing strips used to evaluate the aroma.
Aromatic blending for the sheer pleasure of the aroma is a combination of creativity and science. When using a blend created primarily for its fragrance, therapeutic benefit can also occur. The focus of the blend, however, is on the final aroma, not its therapeutic properties.
Safety precautions should be followed for any type of blending, including for aromatic blending. For instance, you would still want to be extremely careful when using Bergamot because of its phototoxic properties and still avoid using all hazardous oils and all oils that are contraindicated for conditions that you have.
Traditional perfumers that work for the famous fragrance houses study for years to master the art and science of perfumery blending. The perfumer’s standard repertoire consists of essential oils but also of synthesized chemicals that mimic the constituents (chemicals) of essential oils and other natural ingredients. Perfumers use synthesized chemicals and chemicals extracted from essential oils because they are often cheaper than using pure essential oils and because the chemicals are standardized and will be more consistent in aroma. If you can find a copy, The Science and Art of Perfumery by Edward Sagarin (copyright 1945) is a fascinating book that provides insight into the history and science of perfumery.
In aromatherapy blending, only natural ingredients such as essential oils, absolutes, CO2s, grain alcohol, carrier oils, herbs and water are used. Because aromatherapy blending requires and benefits from the use of unsynthesized chemicals, you shouldn’t have high expectations for perfectly duplicating your favorite commercial fragrances.
Blending Basics
Essential oils can be categorized into broad groups based on their aromas. An example categorical system is as follows:
• Floral
(i.e. Lavender, Neroli, Jasmine)
• Woodsy
(i.e. Pine, Cedar)
• Earthy
(i.e. Oakmoss, Vetiver, Patchouli)
• Herbaceous
(i.e. Marjoram, Rosemary, Basil)
• Minty
(i.e. Peppermint, Spearmint)
• Medicinal/Camphorous
(i.e. Eucalyptus, Cajuput, Tea Tree)
• Spicy
(i.e. Nutmeg, Clove, Cinnamon)
• Oriental
(i.e. Ginger, Patchouli)
• Citrus
(i.e. Orange, Lemon, Lime)
Oils in the same category generally blend well together. I hesitate specifying that particular categories blend well with other specific categories because it can limit your creativity and experimentation. Additionally, there are always exceptions. But to get you started, below are some categories that generally blend well together:
• Florals blend well with spicy, citrusy and woodsy oils.
• Woodsy oils generally blend well with all categories.
• Spicy and oriental oils blend well with florals, oriental and citrus oils.
Be careful not to overpower the blend with the spicy or oriental oils.
• Minty oils blend well with citrus, woodsy, herbaceous and earthy oils.
Harmonizing Your Blend
Have you ever noticed that a fragrance smells differently after several hours than when you first apply it? Some essential oils evaporate more quickly than others. As the oils in a blend evaporate, the aroma will change to reflect the aroma of the remaining oils.
Using the analogy of a musical scale, oils that evaporate the quickest, usually within 1-2 hours, are called “top notes.” Oils that evaporate with 2-4 hours are considered “middle notes.” Oils that take the longest time to evaporate are referred to as “base notes.” Some base notes can take several days to evaporate! Edward Sagarin credits Septimus Piesse with this analogy that has been used by many perfumers:
“Another contribution to the field of odor classification was made by the famous perfumer and perfume historian, Septimus Piesse. This unique figure in the history of the science created what he called an “odophone.” the odors were like sounds, he pointed out, and a scale could be created going from the first or lowest note, the heavy smell to the last or highest note, the sharp smell. In between there was an ascending ladder. Each odor note corresponded to a key on his odophone, and in the creation of a happy mixture of many different odors, which we call a “bouquet” and which every finished perfume must be, the creator seeks not only to hit the right notes, but to strike those notes which go with one another. His perfume must not be out of tune.” [Edward Sagarin, The Science and Art of Perfumery (New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 1945), 145.]
Below is a chart of commonly available oils based on their common classification:
Below is a chart of commonly available oils based on their common classification:
Top Notes
Anise
Basil
Bay Laurel
Bergamot
Bergamot Mint
Citronella
Eucalyptus
Galbanum
Grapefruit
Lavender
Lavendin
Lemon
Lemongrass
Lime
Orange
Peppermint
Petitgrain
Spear
Middle Notes
Mint
Tagetes
Tangerine
Bay
Bois-de-rose
Cajeput
Carrot Seed
Chamomile, German
Chamomile, Roman
Cinnamon
Clary Sage
Clove Bud
Cypress
Dill
Elemi
Fennel
Fir Needle
Geranium
Hyssop
Jasmine
Juniper Berry
Linden Blossom
Marjoram
Neroli
Nutmeg
Palmarosa
Parsley
Pepper, Black
Pine, Scotch
Rose
Rose Geranium
Rosemary
Rosewood
Spruce
Tea Tree, Common
Tea Tree, NZ (Manuka)
Thyme
Tobacco
Yarrow
Ylang Ylang
Base Notes
Angelica Root
Balsam, Peru
Beeswax
Benzoin
Cedarwood, Atlas
Cedarwood, Virginian
Frankincense
Ginger
Helichrysum (Immortelle)
Myrrh
Oakmoss
Olibanum
Patchouli
Sandalwood
Vanilla
Vetiver
Blending does not have hard and fast rules that must be followed to create that wonderful blend that you’ll love for a lifetime. The lack of limits and restrictions is what makes perfumery an art form. Having said that, a few tips will help get you off to a fine start:
Tips
• When creating a new blend, start out small with a total number of drops of either 5, 10, 20 or 25 drops. 25 drops should be the most that you start with. By starting small, you waste less oil in your blending experiments.
• Start creating your blend by only using essential oils, absolutes or CO2s. After you have designed the blend, then you can dilute it by adding carrier oils, alcohol, etc. If you hate the blend you created, you have then not wasted any carrier oils or alcohol.
• Keep a notebook that lists each oil that you used with the number of drops used for each oil. When the creative juices flow, it is easy to get carried away and later forget the exact recipe for your blend; one drop too much or too little of even one oil can drastically change the aroma of your blend. When you find that perfect blend, you want to be able to reduplicate it, and it’s near impossible if you didn’t take notes! If you are especially ambitious, it’s also a wise idea to note the vendor name of the oil that you used as the aroma and quality of oils do vary between vendors (even with the same vendor, the aroma of oils can vary from batch to batch, due to crop fluctuations and resourcing).
• To store your beautiful creations, perfume sample bottles and 2ml amber “shortie” bottles are very inexpensive and can often be purchased from aromatherapy vendors and glass bottle companies.
• Be sure to label your blends clearly. If you don’t have enough room to specify exactly what your blend is, label it with a number that corresponds to a number in your notebook.
• Start off your blending experiments by creating blends that are made up in the following ratio (you do not have to be exact – this is just a guideline to get you started): 30% of the oils are top notes, 50% are middle notes, and 20% are base notes. See the chart above to find out what oils belong to each category.
• Some oils are much stronger than others, especially the absolutes and CO2s. Study oils you wish to use in a given blend and observe the oils that have the strongest aromas. Unless you want those oils to dominate the blend, you will want to use dramatically less of the stronger oils in your blend.
• To learn more about the strength of oils, it is useful to experiment. Begin by adding one drop of a selected essential oil to 4 drops carrier oil. This will result in a 20% dilution. Smell it and study the aroma. To obtain a 10% dilution, add 5 more drops of carrier oil. Smell it, study the aroma again, then repeat as desired. This can help educate you on the characteristics and strengths of each essential oil at various dilution ratios.
• After creating your blend, allow it to sit for a few days before deciding if you love or hate it. The constituents (natural chemicals) contained within the oils will get cozy with each other and the aroma can change, usually rounding out a bit.
Recipes
Carrier Oil Base Perfume• 15-25 drops of your perfume blend
• 1 tablespoon of Jojoba carrier oil (sweet almond or apricot kernel carrier oil may be substituted)
Directions: Blend all oils together well and store in an airtight dark-colored glass container. Dab a drop onto your pulse points. Please note that this blend has a heavy concentration of essential oils and is meant to be used sparingly. As with any new oils and blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using.
Alcohol/Water Base Perfume
• 4 1/4 teaspoons Vodka
• 1 1/2 teaspoons Distilled Water
• 60 drops of your perfume blend
Directions: Blend all ingredients well and store in an airtight 1 ounce dark-colored glass container. Let sit for two weeks, shaking the bottle 1-3 times daily (more often is better) to mix the oils. After two weeks has passed, filter the perfume through a coffee filter and rebottle (using the same bottle is fine). As with any blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using.
Cologne
• 4 1/2 teaspoons Vodka
• 2 teaspoons Distilled Water
• 30 drops of your perfume blend
Directions: Blend all ingredients well and store in an airtight 1 ounce dark-colored glass container. Let sit for two weeks, shaking the bottle 1-3 times daily (more often is better) to mix the oils. After two weeks has passed, filter the cologne through a coffee filter and rebottle into a one-ounce, fine-mist sprayer bottle. As with any blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using. This makes only a one-ounce quantity so that you can try your cologne to see if you like it or want any changes to it before making a larger quantity.
Body Splash
• 4 1/2 teaspoons Vodka
• 2 teaspoons Distilled Water
• 18 drops of your perfume blend
Directions: Blend all ingredients well and store in an airtight 1 ounce dark-colored glass container. Let sit for two weeks, shaking the bottle 1-3 times daily (more often is better) to mix the oils. After two weeks has passed, filter the body splash through a coffee filter and rebottle into a one-ounce, fine-mist sprayer bottle.. As with any blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using. This makes only a one-ounce quantity so that you can “try” your body splash to see if you like it or want any changes to it before making a larger quantity.
Air Freshener
An air freshener can be created that serves purely an aromatic or a therapeutic purpose. See the Air Freshener recipe within the Recipe Box area for a base recipe that you can use for your custom blend.
http://www.aromaweb.com
Fragrance testing strips used to evaluate the aroma.
Aromatic blending for the sheer pleasure of the aroma is a combination of creativity and science. When using a blend created primarily for its fragrance, therapeutic benefit can also occur. The focus of the blend, however, is on the final aroma, not its therapeutic properties.
Safety precautions should be followed for any type of blending, including for aromatic blending. For instance, you would still want to be extremely careful when using Bergamot because of its phototoxic properties and still avoid using all hazardous oils and all oils that are contraindicated for conditions that you have.
Traditional perfumers that work for the famous fragrance houses study for years to master the art and science of perfumery blending. The perfumer’s standard repertoire consists of essential oils but also of synthesized chemicals that mimic the constituents (chemicals) of essential oils and other natural ingredients. Perfumers use synthesized chemicals and chemicals extracted from essential oils because they are often cheaper than using pure essential oils and because the chemicals are standardized and will be more consistent in aroma. If you can find a copy, The Science and Art of Perfumery by Edward Sagarin (copyright 1945) is a fascinating book that provides insight into the history and science of perfumery.
In aromatherapy blending, only natural ingredients such as essential oils, absolutes, CO2s, grain alcohol, carrier oils, herbs and water are used. Because aromatherapy blending requires and benefits from the use of unsynthesized chemicals, you shouldn’t have high expectations for perfectly duplicating your favorite commercial fragrances.
Blending Basics
Essential oils can be categorized into broad groups based on their aromas. An example categorical system is as follows:
• Floral
(i.e. Lavender, Neroli, Jasmine)
• Woodsy
(i.e. Pine, Cedar)
• Earthy
(i.e. Oakmoss, Vetiver, Patchouli)
• Herbaceous
(i.e. Marjoram, Rosemary, Basil)
• Minty
(i.e. Peppermint, Spearmint)
• Medicinal/Camphorous
(i.e. Eucalyptus, Cajuput, Tea Tree)
• Spicy
(i.e. Nutmeg, Clove, Cinnamon)
• Oriental
(i.e. Ginger, Patchouli)
• Citrus
(i.e. Orange, Lemon, Lime)
Oils in the same category generally blend well together. I hesitate specifying that particular categories blend well with other specific categories because it can limit your creativity and experimentation. Additionally, there are always exceptions. But to get you started, below are some categories that generally blend well together:
• Florals blend well with spicy, citrusy and woodsy oils.
• Woodsy oils generally blend well with all categories.
• Spicy and oriental oils blend well with florals, oriental and citrus oils.
Be careful not to overpower the blend with the spicy or oriental oils.
• Minty oils blend well with citrus, woodsy, herbaceous and earthy oils.
Harmonizing Your Blend
Have you ever noticed that a fragrance smells differently after several hours than when you first apply it? Some essential oils evaporate more quickly than others. As the oils in a blend evaporate, the aroma will change to reflect the aroma of the remaining oils.
Using the analogy of a musical scale, oils that evaporate the quickest, usually within 1-2 hours, are called “top notes.” Oils that evaporate with 2-4 hours are considered “middle notes.” Oils that take the longest time to evaporate are referred to as “base notes.” Some base notes can take several days to evaporate! Edward Sagarin credits Septimus Piesse with this analogy that has been used by many perfumers:
“Another contribution to the field of odor classification was made by the famous perfumer and perfume historian, Septimus Piesse. This unique figure in the history of the science created what he called an “odophone.” the odors were like sounds, he pointed out, and a scale could be created going from the first or lowest note, the heavy smell to the last or highest note, the sharp smell. In between there was an ascending ladder. Each odor note corresponded to a key on his odophone, and in the creation of a happy mixture of many different odors, which we call a “bouquet” and which every finished perfume must be, the creator seeks not only to hit the right notes, but to strike those notes which go with one another. His perfume must not be out of tune.” [Edward Sagarin, The Science and Art of Perfumery (New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 1945), 145.]
Below is a chart of commonly available oils based on their common classification:
Below is a chart of commonly available oils based on their common classification:
Top Notes
Anise
Basil
Bay Laurel
Bergamot
Bergamot Mint
Citronella
Eucalyptus
Galbanum
Grapefruit
Lavender
Lavendin
Lemon
Lemongrass
Lime
Orange
Peppermint
Petitgrain
Spear
Middle Notes
Mint
Tagetes
Tangerine
Bay
Bois-de-rose
Cajeput
Carrot Seed
Chamomile, German
Chamomile, Roman
Cinnamon
Clary Sage
Clove Bud
Cypress
Dill
Elemi
Fennel
Fir Needle
Geranium
Hyssop
Jasmine
Juniper Berry
Linden Blossom
Marjoram
Neroli
Nutmeg
Palmarosa
Parsley
Pepper, Black
Pine, Scotch
Rose
Rose Geranium
Rosemary
Rosewood
Spruce
Tea Tree, Common
Tea Tree, NZ (Manuka)
Thyme
Tobacco
Yarrow
Ylang Ylang
Base Notes
Angelica Root
Balsam, Peru
Beeswax
Benzoin
Cedarwood, Atlas
Cedarwood, Virginian
Frankincense
Ginger
Helichrysum (Immortelle)
Myrrh
Oakmoss
Olibanum
Patchouli
Sandalwood
Vanilla
Vetiver
Blending does not have hard and fast rules that must be followed to create that wonderful blend that you’ll love for a lifetime. The lack of limits and restrictions is what makes perfumery an art form. Having said that, a few tips will help get you off to a fine start:
Tips
• When creating a new blend, start out small with a total number of drops of either 5, 10, 20 or 25 drops. 25 drops should be the most that you start with. By starting small, you waste less oil in your blending experiments.
• Start creating your blend by only using essential oils, absolutes or CO2s. After you have designed the blend, then you can dilute it by adding carrier oils, alcohol, etc. If you hate the blend you created, you have then not wasted any carrier oils or alcohol.
• Keep a notebook that lists each oil that you used with the number of drops used for each oil. When the creative juices flow, it is easy to get carried away and later forget the exact recipe for your blend; one drop too much or too little of even one oil can drastically change the aroma of your blend. When you find that perfect blend, you want to be able to reduplicate it, and it’s near impossible if you didn’t take notes! If you are especially ambitious, it’s also a wise idea to note the vendor name of the oil that you used as the aroma and quality of oils do vary between vendors (even with the same vendor, the aroma of oils can vary from batch to batch, due to crop fluctuations and resourcing).
• To store your beautiful creations, perfume sample bottles and 2ml amber “shortie” bottles are very inexpensive and can often be purchased from aromatherapy vendors and glass bottle companies.
• Be sure to label your blends clearly. If you don’t have enough room to specify exactly what your blend is, label it with a number that corresponds to a number in your notebook.
• Start off your blending experiments by creating blends that are made up in the following ratio (you do not have to be exact – this is just a guideline to get you started): 30% of the oils are top notes, 50% are middle notes, and 20% are base notes. See the chart above to find out what oils belong to each category.
• Some oils are much stronger than others, especially the absolutes and CO2s. Study oils you wish to use in a given blend and observe the oils that have the strongest aromas. Unless you want those oils to dominate the blend, you will want to use dramatically less of the stronger oils in your blend.
• To learn more about the strength of oils, it is useful to experiment. Begin by adding one drop of a selected essential oil to 4 drops carrier oil. This will result in a 20% dilution. Smell it and study the aroma. To obtain a 10% dilution, add 5 more drops of carrier oil. Smell it, study the aroma again, then repeat as desired. This can help educate you on the characteristics and strengths of each essential oil at various dilution ratios.
• After creating your blend, allow it to sit for a few days before deciding if you love or hate it. The constituents (natural chemicals) contained within the oils will get cozy with each other and the aroma can change, usually rounding out a bit.
Recipes
Carrier Oil Base Perfume• 15-25 drops of your perfume blend
• 1 tablespoon of Jojoba carrier oil (sweet almond or apricot kernel carrier oil may be substituted)
Directions: Blend all oils together well and store in an airtight dark-colored glass container. Dab a drop onto your pulse points. Please note that this blend has a heavy concentration of essential oils and is meant to be used sparingly. As with any new oils and blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using.
Alcohol/Water Base Perfume
• 4 1/4 teaspoons Vodka
• 1 1/2 teaspoons Distilled Water
• 60 drops of your perfume blend
Directions: Blend all ingredients well and store in an airtight 1 ounce dark-colored glass container. Let sit for two weeks, shaking the bottle 1-3 times daily (more often is better) to mix the oils. After two weeks has passed, filter the perfume through a coffee filter and rebottle (using the same bottle is fine). As with any blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using.
Cologne
• 4 1/2 teaspoons Vodka
• 2 teaspoons Distilled Water
• 30 drops of your perfume blend
Directions: Blend all ingredients well and store in an airtight 1 ounce dark-colored glass container. Let sit for two weeks, shaking the bottle 1-3 times daily (more often is better) to mix the oils. After two weeks has passed, filter the cologne through a coffee filter and rebottle into a one-ounce, fine-mist sprayer bottle. As with any blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using. This makes only a one-ounce quantity so that you can try your cologne to see if you like it or want any changes to it before making a larger quantity.
Body Splash
• 4 1/2 teaspoons Vodka
• 2 teaspoons Distilled Water
• 18 drops of your perfume blend
Directions: Blend all ingredients well and store in an airtight 1 ounce dark-colored glass container. Let sit for two weeks, shaking the bottle 1-3 times daily (more often is better) to mix the oils. After two weeks has passed, filter the body splash through a coffee filter and rebottle into a one-ounce, fine-mist sprayer bottle.. As with any blends that you use, you must check all safety data for the oils in your blend and do a skin patch test prior to using. This makes only a one-ounce quantity so that you can “try” your body splash to see if you like it or want any changes to it before making a larger quantity.
Air Freshener
An air freshener can be created that serves purely an aromatic or a therapeutic purpose. See the Air Freshener recipe within the Recipe Box area for a base recipe that you can use for your custom blend.
http://www.aromaweb.com
Oils for Emotional Well-Being
For an introduction to using essential oils to aid the emotions, please visit AromaWeb's Aromatherapy for Emotional Well-Being article. Additionally, AromaWeb's Recipe Box area contains a variety of recipes and synergies for aiding the emotions.
Anger
Bergamot, Jasmine, Neroli, Orange, Patchouli, Petitgrain, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Vetiver, Ylang Ylang
Anxiety
Bergamot, Cedarwood, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Lavender, Mandarin, Neroli, Patchouli, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Confidence
Bay Laurel, Bergamot, Cypress, Grapefruit, Jasmine, Orange, Rosemary
Depression
Bergamot, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Helichrysum, Jasmine, Lavender, Lemon, Mandarin, Neroli, Orange, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang
Fatigue, Exhaustion and Burnout
Basil, Bergamot, Black Pepper, Clary Sage, Cypress, Frankincense, Ginger, Grapefruit, Helichrysum, Jasmine, Lemon, Patchouli, Peppermint, Rosemary, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Fear
Bergamot, Cedarwood, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Grapefruit, Jasmine, Lemon, Neroli, Orange, Roman Chamomile Sandalwood, Vetiver
Grief
Cypress, Frankincense, Helichrysum, Neroli, Rose, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Happiness and Peace
Bergamot, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Lemon, Neroli, Orange, Rose, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang
Insecurity
Bergamot, Cedarwood, Frankincense, Jasmine, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Irritability
Lavender, Mandarin, Neroli, Roman Chamomile, Sandalwood
Loneliness
Bergamot, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Helichrysum, Roman Chamomile, Rose
Memory and Concentration
Basil, Black Pepper, Cypress, Hyssop, Lemon, Peppermint, Rosemary
Panic and Panic Attacks
Frankincense, Helichrysum, Lavender, Neroli, Rose
Stress
Benzoin, Bergamot, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Jasmine, Lavender, Mandarin, Neroli, Patchouli, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Sandalwood, Vetiver, Ylang Ylang
For an introduction to using essential oils to aid the emotions, please visit AromaWeb's Aromatherapy for Emotional Well-Being article. Additionally, AromaWeb's Recipe Box area contains a variety of recipes and synergies for aiding the emotions.
Important Note: The information provided in the Oil Profiles area is for educational purposes only. This data is not considered complete and is not guaranteed to be accurate.
http://www.aromaweb.com/
Anger
Bergamot, Jasmine, Neroli, Orange, Patchouli, Petitgrain, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Vetiver, Ylang Ylang
Anxiety
Bergamot, Cedarwood, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Lavender, Mandarin, Neroli, Patchouli, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Confidence
Bay Laurel, Bergamot, Cypress, Grapefruit, Jasmine, Orange, Rosemary
Depression
Bergamot, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Helichrysum, Jasmine, Lavender, Lemon, Mandarin, Neroli, Orange, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang
Fatigue, Exhaustion and Burnout
Basil, Bergamot, Black Pepper, Clary Sage, Cypress, Frankincense, Ginger, Grapefruit, Helichrysum, Jasmine, Lemon, Patchouli, Peppermint, Rosemary, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Fear
Bergamot, Cedarwood, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Grapefruit, Jasmine, Lemon, Neroli, Orange, Roman Chamomile Sandalwood, Vetiver
Grief
Cypress, Frankincense, Helichrysum, Neroli, Rose, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Happiness and Peace
Bergamot, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Lemon, Neroli, Orange, Rose, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang
Insecurity
Bergamot, Cedarwood, Frankincense, Jasmine, Sandalwood, Vetiver
Irritability
Lavender, Mandarin, Neroli, Roman Chamomile, Sandalwood
Loneliness
Bergamot, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Helichrysum, Roman Chamomile, Rose
Memory and Concentration
Basil, Black Pepper, Cypress, Hyssop, Lemon, Peppermint, Rosemary
Panic and Panic Attacks
Frankincense, Helichrysum, Lavender, Neroli, Rose
Stress
Benzoin, Bergamot, Clary Sage, Frankincense, Geranium, Grapefruit, Jasmine, Lavender, Mandarin, Neroli, Patchouli, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Sandalwood, Vetiver, Ylang Ylang
For an introduction to using essential oils to aid the emotions, please visit AromaWeb's Aromatherapy for Emotional Well-Being article. Additionally, AromaWeb's Recipe Box area contains a variety of recipes and synergies for aiding the emotions.
Important Note: The information provided in the Oil Profiles area is for educational purposes only. This data is not considered complete and is not guaranteed to be accurate.
http://www.aromaweb.com/
Massage and High Blood Pressure
Although some alternative health practitioners advise their clients to never use essential oils to treat high blood pressure, there are certainly essential oils that can make a difference to the condition.
The key to doing it safely is to avoid the types of essential oil therapies that involve ingesting the oils, especially in their undiluted forms. This does not mean that essential oils can not be used to treat high blood pressure, it simply
means that they should be used as aromatherapy, skin care, and bath scents instead of ingesting the oils themselves.
A popular form of ingesting essential oils is to put a drop or two in hot water to make a tea. A smarter and possibly safer way to reap the benefits of a particular element is to buy a tea that is already infused with that element. For example, if you are tempted to make peppermint tea using peppermint essential oil, take the safer route and simply buy the tea from a health food store. This is a much safer route to ingesting herbs rather than using essential oils, which are extremely potent.
Beyond ingesting essential oils, there are many ways to use them ON the body as opposed to IN the body. Probably the two most popular methods for using essential oils to reduce high blood pressure are by infusing bath water with oils or by making up massage oils.
For baths, you first need is a large bathtub in which you can fully immerse your body. The water in the bath should be at body temperature. You then need some essential oils to add to the bath water. To that end, some of the most effective essential oils for high blood pressure treatment are -
• Lemon
• Marjoram
• Rosemary
• Geranium Lavender
• Ginger
It is also possible to combine some essential oils such as lemon and ginger or rosemary and marjoram. Lavender is nice enough to be used all by itself and is best not used with other floral scents, especially musky ones like rose. Bathing in an essential oil infused bath helps to lower blood pressure and also increase circulation. The ideal time for this type of therapeutic bath is right before bedtime.
Massage is also a very effective way of treating high blood pressure by applying essential oils to the body. Generally, massage oils are more effective because the oil is much more concentrated in essential oil than bath water. Also, the synergy of the essential oil and the massage creates an effect that is better than the result of the two used independently of one another.
In order to make a nice massage oil, use some of the beneficial scents listed above, diluted in a carrier oil. Almond is a good choice of carrier oil for massage as it is sweet to the skin. Once you have made your oil, massage it into your pulse points yourself, as well as your chest. An extra benefit can be gained from having someone massage it into your back as well.
Although high blood pressure can be helped with essential oils, the best way to get results is to combine these essential oil tactics with a healthy, low cholesterol diet and a proper amount of exercise.
Combining these three healthy elements will make your blood pressure start dropping almost immediately, and you will find that life is so much more enjoyable.
http://www.healthylivinganswers.com
The key to doing it safely is to avoid the types of essential oil therapies that involve ingesting the oils, especially in their undiluted forms. This does not mean that essential oils can not be used to treat high blood pressure, it simply
means that they should be used as aromatherapy, skin care, and bath scents instead of ingesting the oils themselves.
A popular form of ingesting essential oils is to put a drop or two in hot water to make a tea. A smarter and possibly safer way to reap the benefits of a particular element is to buy a tea that is already infused with that element. For example, if you are tempted to make peppermint tea using peppermint essential oil, take the safer route and simply buy the tea from a health food store. This is a much safer route to ingesting herbs rather than using essential oils, which are extremely potent.
Beyond ingesting essential oils, there are many ways to use them ON the body as opposed to IN the body. Probably the two most popular methods for using essential oils to reduce high blood pressure are by infusing bath water with oils or by making up massage oils.
For baths, you first need is a large bathtub in which you can fully immerse your body. The water in the bath should be at body temperature. You then need some essential oils to add to the bath water. To that end, some of the most effective essential oils for high blood pressure treatment are -
• Lemon
• Marjoram
• Rosemary
• Geranium Lavender
• Ginger
It is also possible to combine some essential oils such as lemon and ginger or rosemary and marjoram. Lavender is nice enough to be used all by itself and is best not used with other floral scents, especially musky ones like rose. Bathing in an essential oil infused bath helps to lower blood pressure and also increase circulation. The ideal time for this type of therapeutic bath is right before bedtime.
Massage is also a very effective way of treating high blood pressure by applying essential oils to the body. Generally, massage oils are more effective because the oil is much more concentrated in essential oil than bath water. Also, the synergy of the essential oil and the massage creates an effect that is better than the result of the two used independently of one another.
In order to make a nice massage oil, use some of the beneficial scents listed above, diluted in a carrier oil. Almond is a good choice of carrier oil for massage as it is sweet to the skin. Once you have made your oil, massage it into your pulse points yourself, as well as your chest. An extra benefit can be gained from having someone massage it into your back as well.
Although high blood pressure can be helped with essential oils, the best way to get results is to combine these essential oil tactics with a healthy, low cholesterol diet and a proper amount of exercise.
Combining these three healthy elements will make your blood pressure start dropping almost immediately, and you will find that life is so much more enjoyable.
http://www.healthylivinganswers.com
Aromatherapy for Treatment of Depression
It is estimated that around one in every fifteen people visit their doctor complaining of depression with one in every thousand ending up in hospital because of the condition.
Depression can affect sufferers on a physical, mental or emotional level and can make ordinary daily activities difficult to perform. There are different levels of depression with symptoms ranging from persistent sadness or emptiness, excessive crying, feelings of guilt and helplessness through to thoughts of death and suicide. Sufferers of depression often feel mentally and emotionally drained making it difficult to implement lifestyle changes that may offer relief.
Although there is no single underlying medical cause for depression, the general consensus amongst doctors is that the illness is caused by an imbalance in the level of neurotransmitters in the brain. These are chemical messengers that transmit signals from one nerve to the other. Aromatherapy and essential oils can assist in altering moods by stimulating the production of neurotransmitters to the brain, which in turn regulates behavior and helps in the fight against depression.While aromatherapy is not a cure for depression, using essential oils known to be emotionally uplifting can help relieve tension, stress, and anxiety, and promote a general sense of wellbeing. Oils that have been used in the treatment of depression include -
Basil - Good tonic for treatment of nervous disorders with an uplifting effect on depression
Bergamot - Helps to revitalize and promote a positive frame of mind
Cedarwood - Ability to calm and soothe nerves, reduce tension and ease stress
Chamomile - Calming and relieving herbal aroma
Clary Sage - A Positive and uplifting aroma favoured by women
Frankincense - Beneficial aroma for anxiety with anti depressant properties
Geranium - Helps to relax, balance and stimulate the system
Grapefruit - Refreshing oil with an uplifting effect that helps with stress and depression
Lavender - Much loved aroma that aids relaxation
Lemon - Good room fragrance that is refreshing, revitalizing and uplifting
Jasmine - Helps to produce optimistic feelings as well as euphoria and confidence
Neroli - Relaxing oil with an ability to relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression, fear and stress
Rose - Helps with emotional distress and ideal for massage use
Sandalwood - Calming effect that reduces tension and ideal for depression, stress and anxiety
Orange - Offers a sunny warm sensation that lifts the spirits
Ylang Ylang - Helps to restore the natural balance of the body
Essential oils should never be applied directly to the skin. Instead, dilute them in a carrier oil first. If you are pregnant, suffer from high blood pressure, epilepsy or any other medical condition, do not use essential oils before consulting with your doctor or physician.
For massage purposes, blend four to five drops of essential oil to 10ml of carrier oil. If being used for children or the elderly, this ratio should be halved.
For bathing, add six drops of essential oil directly to the bath water or blend with a carrier oil for the added moisture.
To produce a relaxing room fragrance, put four to five drops of essential oil into an oil burner
Depression can affect sufferers on a physical, mental or emotional level and can make ordinary daily activities difficult to perform. There are different levels of depression with symptoms ranging from persistent sadness or emptiness, excessive crying, feelings of guilt and helplessness through to thoughts of death and suicide. Sufferers of depression often feel mentally and emotionally drained making it difficult to implement lifestyle changes that may offer relief.
Although there is no single underlying medical cause for depression, the general consensus amongst doctors is that the illness is caused by an imbalance in the level of neurotransmitters in the brain. These are chemical messengers that transmit signals from one nerve to the other. Aromatherapy and essential oils can assist in altering moods by stimulating the production of neurotransmitters to the brain, which in turn regulates behavior and helps in the fight against depression.While aromatherapy is not a cure for depression, using essential oils known to be emotionally uplifting can help relieve tension, stress, and anxiety, and promote a general sense of wellbeing. Oils that have been used in the treatment of depression include -
Basil - Good tonic for treatment of nervous disorders with an uplifting effect on depression
Bergamot - Helps to revitalize and promote a positive frame of mind
Cedarwood - Ability to calm and soothe nerves, reduce tension and ease stress
Chamomile - Calming and relieving herbal aroma
Clary Sage - A Positive and uplifting aroma favoured by women
Frankincense - Beneficial aroma for anxiety with anti depressant properties
Geranium - Helps to relax, balance and stimulate the system
Grapefruit - Refreshing oil with an uplifting effect that helps with stress and depression
Lavender - Much loved aroma that aids relaxation
Lemon - Good room fragrance that is refreshing, revitalizing and uplifting
Jasmine - Helps to produce optimistic feelings as well as euphoria and confidence
Neroli - Relaxing oil with an ability to relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression, fear and stress
Rose - Helps with emotional distress and ideal for massage use
Sandalwood - Calming effect that reduces tension and ideal for depression, stress and anxiety
Orange - Offers a sunny warm sensation that lifts the spirits
Ylang Ylang - Helps to restore the natural balance of the body
Essential oils should never be applied directly to the skin. Instead, dilute them in a carrier oil first. If you are pregnant, suffer from high blood pressure, epilepsy or any other medical condition, do not use essential oils before consulting with your doctor or physician.
For massage purposes, blend four to five drops of essential oil to 10ml of carrier oil. If being used for children or the elderly, this ratio should be halved.
For bathing, add six drops of essential oil directly to the bath water or blend with a carrier oil for the added moisture.
To produce a relaxing room fragrance, put four to five drops of essential oil into an oil burner
Benefits of Using Pure Essential Oils
The power of pure essential oils is sometimes underestimated by the many people who use them on a daily basis. Due to the potency of some oils there is always the possibility that they could cause minor, and sometimes major problems to the people who are using them.
Provided that pure essential oils do not come into direct contact with the body, they are more or less 100% safe. For instance, aromatherapy is all about using essential oils in which the pure oils are used for their scent properties.
Massaging with essential oils is also considered to be harmless although there are certainly ways to cause damage by either using them undiluted or by using diluted ones where the concentrated level is too high.
Pure essential oils have an extremely strong scent, which is why they are used for aromatherapy purposes. However, the strength of their scent also indicates that the concentration level of what is inside is also extremely high. A lavender sprig might not make you break out in hives, but applying pure lavender essential oil directly to your skin might very well cause a rash as a result.
The bottom line is that essential oils are extremely powerful things and caution should always be taken when working with something that is this concentrated and powerful. Always do allergy tests on yourself, and then wait a few days before deciding that your skin is not reacting to the essential oil, and even then, do not think that you can apply it as much and as often as you want to. It is not unheard of to develop a skin rash in the face of frequent application of a particular oil. Always dilute the oils in carrier oils and always use them sparingly to avoid developing any allergic reaction.
On the other hand, it is the potency and power of essential oils that gives them their extreme healing powers and an incredible ability to change your state of mind or to relax or stimulate your brain. It is precisely because they are so strong that they can make such a marked difference when it comes to altering your state.
A regular hand lotion may well smell nice when you apply it, but within minutes, the scent is gone, and the benefit of using the lotion is limited to the effect it has on your hands in terms of moisturizing them.
The potency of essential oils is such that you will be enjoying their scent for hours after using them. It is this sort of longevity that is one of the main factors in bringing about a more permanent change in your mental state, which is, ultimately, what most people are looking for.
Essential oils have the power to change your state of mind, your state of thinking, the state of cleanliness in your home or change the way that you feel when you walk into your bedroom.
Essential oils can be used as aphrodisiacs and are much more potent than candles and a lot safer than incense. They come in numerous different scents with one that is right for any occasion and any room.
As well as smelling nice, essential oils also have the power to heal as well as having the power to change your thinking. They have been known to cure athlete’s foot and high blood pressure as well as menstrual cramps and arthritis pain.
Their uses are many and so varied that using them for a few years will not even begin to initiate you fully into the world of essential oils. There is a lifetime of discovery ahead of you.
Provided that pure essential oils do not come into direct contact with the body, they are more or less 100% safe. For instance, aromatherapy is all about using essential oils in which the pure oils are used for their scent properties.
Massaging with essential oils is also considered to be harmless although there are certainly ways to cause damage by either using them undiluted or by using diluted ones where the concentrated level is too high.
Pure essential oils have an extremely strong scent, which is why they are used for aromatherapy purposes. However, the strength of their scent also indicates that the concentration level of what is inside is also extremely high. A lavender sprig might not make you break out in hives, but applying pure lavender essential oil directly to your skin might very well cause a rash as a result.
The bottom line is that essential oils are extremely powerful things and caution should always be taken when working with something that is this concentrated and powerful. Always do allergy tests on yourself, and then wait a few days before deciding that your skin is not reacting to the essential oil, and even then, do not think that you can apply it as much and as often as you want to. It is not unheard of to develop a skin rash in the face of frequent application of a particular oil. Always dilute the oils in carrier oils and always use them sparingly to avoid developing any allergic reaction.
On the other hand, it is the potency and power of essential oils that gives them their extreme healing powers and an incredible ability to change your state of mind or to relax or stimulate your brain. It is precisely because they are so strong that they can make such a marked difference when it comes to altering your state.
A regular hand lotion may well smell nice when you apply it, but within minutes, the scent is gone, and the benefit of using the lotion is limited to the effect it has on your hands in terms of moisturizing them.
The potency of essential oils is such that you will be enjoying their scent for hours after using them. It is this sort of longevity that is one of the main factors in bringing about a more permanent change in your mental state, which is, ultimately, what most people are looking for.
Essential oils have the power to change your state of mind, your state of thinking, the state of cleanliness in your home or change the way that you feel when you walk into your bedroom.
Essential oils can be used as aphrodisiacs and are much more potent than candles and a lot safer than incense. They come in numerous different scents with one that is right for any occasion and any room.
As well as smelling nice, essential oils also have the power to heal as well as having the power to change your thinking. They have been known to cure athlete’s foot and high blood pressure as well as menstrual cramps and arthritis pain.
Their uses are many and so varied that using them for a few years will not even begin to initiate you fully into the world of essential oils. There is a lifetime of discovery ahead of you.
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